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Not Evie. Please, not Evie.
“They kept yelling at your mom, something about money. I thought it was a simple hold up and that they’d eventually leave after she gave them what they wanted. But when I listened more carefully, they were talking about getting the money your father owed them. Charleigh, they killed your mom as a message to your dad. He owed these men money. I don’t know what for, just that it must have been a lot.”
The shaking starts in my hands, and I struggle to hold the phone to my ear, so I switch to hands free and place it on the coffee table before me. Then, the trembling moves up my body and my teeth chatter even though I’m not cold. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be sick, and I don’t care if I barf all over the Alekseev house.
Pops was responsible for Mother’s death?
Pops? My father? Mother’s husband? He fucked her over just like he did me, just like the guys suspected.
“I’m sorry, Charleigh, sweetie. I’m so sorry, I wanted to tell you before, so many times, but I just couldn’t. Your dad was all you girls had left and I didn’t want you to hate him, at least not while you were young.”
So now I can hate him, now that he’s dead? Can you hate a dead person?
All these years he told us it was a random hold up. Just some guy with a gun, looking for quick and easy cash. Pawn shops get held up all the time, Pops told me. Rotten luck, he insisted.
Fucking liar. I swear, if he weren’t already dead, I might be tempted to put a gun to his head.
My own father.
“I… I can’t believe it, Vic,” I say in a small voice. “My dad. His debts killed my mother. And yet he still didn’t stop.”
Why? Oh, why?
How could he do this to us? He ruined our family. For something that was avoidable.
“I know this is hard, honey,” Victoria says. “In time, you’ll be able to put it behind you like I did. Your mother was my friend. It wasn’t easy for me to forgive your father, but I did. Your mother would have wanted it.”
Mother.What would she say if she were here?
I’ll never know.
I’ll never see her, hear her voice, feel her touch.
I start spiraling into despair. But I stop myself. I’m not going there, goddammit. I refuse. I’m still here. I have a life to live. That’s one thing my parents gave me, a life to live, and I’m going to live it.
“So why can’t we see you, Vic?” I ask.
“Honey, I’ve been looking over my shoulder since the day your mother was murdered, and I will continue to as long as I’m on this earth. I saw the killers. Now that your dad and the shop are gone, I’m out of here. You will never see me again, but I will try to call from time to time.”
“No, Vic—”
“Don’t look for me, Charleigh. It will only bring us both trouble. My rent is paid until the end of the month. Behind a false wall in my closet is your mother’s wedding dress and some other things. Go get them before the landlord cleans the place out. Remember I love you and your sister. Please take care of yourselves.”
And she’s gone.
I double over in tears, and when they finally taper off, I look up to find the guys circling me, like they always will, like they’ve promised, and while I know life will always throw no end of curve balls, they will be easier to accept with these men at my side.
* * *
EPILOGUE…
Two years later…
Evie waves at the four of us from her high school auditorium stage, where she’s accepting her diploma. She still has more black shit around her eyes than I prefer, and now has a septum piercing, but boarding school got her on track with straight A’s, so I really have nothing to complain about.
The headmaster, or principal, or whatever they call people in these fancy places, stops what he’s doing and gives her a quick hug. He knows she’s been through some shit, and has been her biggest supporter and fan.
After me, of course.
