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But damn.
I hope my O-face looks better than a damn sneeze.
* * *
8
AVA
“Hey Ava.I hear you have ahotnew assignment. That it’s reallyexciting.”
The office pain-in-the-ass, perfectly named, Pia, peers over my cube wall. She’s got a particular talent for wedging herself into everyone else’s business with her snide smiles and sly glances, like a cat stalking her prey.
My first day on the job atGlisten, I was warned to stay away from her. But did I listen? Hell no.
I was new to town, with no friends, and completely overwhelmed by the cacophony that is New York. She invited me out to a club with her friends, got me to dance wildly and even make out with some guy, took pictures, and then showed them around the office.
Since then I’ve been nice but conveniently busy whenever she wants to hang out. Keep your enemies close and all that. This time, though, I bristle at her intrusion. I know how she operates, and she doesn’t make small talk unless she wants something.
While I formulate my answer, knowing that anything I say can and will be used against me, her words hang heavy in the air.
Hot.
Exciting.
Not how I’d describe my predicament, but whatever.
Does she… know anything?
No. No way. Not possible.
“Yeah, I’m working on something good,” I say, all casual and indifferent.
But the reality is my heart is pounding against my ribs and my palms are so sweaty I don’t dare pick up my can of Diet Coke.
Act normal, Ava. Get it together, girl.
She leans closer, over the wall of my cube. “I hear it’s quite… personal. Something to do with O’s?” She smirks.
Can this woman really not know how transparent she comes across?
I lean back in my chair.
“Oh no, Pia, I’m not doing a story on O-rings. But it sounds like something you’re interested in. Maybe Glenda would let you do a write up on them.”
The smug melts from her face. “Huh? O-rings? Like assholes?”
Yeah, I can be evil when I need to be.
I lean towards her, conspiratorially lowering my voice. “Hey, if that’s your thing, no judgment here. Go forth and rim. Enjoy that backside. Know what I mean?”
Pia wrinkles her nose and steps back, as if just by talking about this, she’s tainted. “Oh, well, no, I mean… that’s not my thing. That’s not what I was talking about.”
I touch my fingers to my parted lips, my version of pearl-clutching. “Right. Sorry ‘bout that. Don’t worry, Pia, your secret is safe with me. The O-ring is a very sensuous part of the body,” I say, tormenting her further, all while dealing with my own inner agony.
One wrong step, one slip, and I’ll be exposed as the next office fraud.
As I render Pia speechless, Glenda pops by.
