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“Just coffee,” I say, curling up at the table near the window.
Orin frowns. “You okay?”
“Stomach is off. I’ll be fine though.”
“You drank too much?”
I shake my head. “I haven’t had anything to drink in weeks.”
“Huh, that’s right. I forgot you were boring.”
“Hey now, that’s a low blow. I don’t need alcohol to be the life of the party.”
“Sure you don’t.” He comes back with light tan coffee and a dash of sugar. “Seriously, if you’re not feeling good, go back to bed.”
“Not like I have anything else to do,” I mumble.
Orin pats my shoulder and goes back to doing whatever the heck he does when he’s not making pithy comments at my expense and getting me things.
It takes a few hours before I realize my period’s a week late.
And another half hour before I connect the two things.
Which sets me into panic mode.
I lock myself in the games room and pace back and forth, rolling pool balls down the felt and back again, slamming them around. All the motion and clacking helps me process as I try to do the math, thinking about the last times I had sex with Liam.
We didn’t use protection, which in retrospect is probably the stupidest thing I could’ve ever done with my life, but there’s no changing it now.
I try to tell myself everything’s going to be just fine, except it’s not.
I grab my things, thrown on a pair of big sunglasses, and head to the front door.
Only to be intercepted by Orin. “Where are you going looking like you’re trying to hide?” he asks as I pause with my hand on the knob.
“Out,” I say, lifting my chin. “Uh—”
His frown deepens. “If you have any errands you need me to run, I’d be happy to do it for you.”
“No, no, that’s not it, it’s just—”
“Because you know Liam wants you to stay in the house as much as possible.”
“It’d be nice if he told me that.”
“Come on. He’s away in Boston, which means a ton of extra manpower watching over you. Which means if you go anywhere, that’s a ton of extra guys on your tail. That’s more overtime, more payroll—”
“I get it, I need to worry about paying his soldiers just so I can go out and buy some freaking tampons.”
Orin softens. “If that’s what you need, it’s no problem. I have two sisters.”
“Really?” I grimace slightly. “But that’s not really it. My period’s late.”
I regret it immediately. I should’ve kept that stupid comment to myself, but I just blurted it out instead. Orin stares at me like he doesn’t really understand yet, then suddenly it visibly clicks. He covers his mouth with both hands as his eyes go wide.
“No,” he whispers. “You’re not.”
“Will you stop it?” I get away from the door, cursing myself for being such an idiot, and steer him into a side hallway. “Be quiet, okay? I don’t know if I am or not. I need some tests.”
“Alisa, this is crazy! You haven’t, uh, you know—”
I punch him in the arm. Hard. “Don’t be a massive fucking dick right now. No, I haven’t slept with anyone else.”
“Okay, okay, geez.” He rubs the spot I punched, but doesn’t seem upset. He must actually have sisters. “I’ll get you some tests. Discreetly.”
“Thank you.” I’m totally mortified, but kind of relieved that Orin’s in on the secret now. Before it was like the weight of all this was crushing me. Now I can share it with him a little bit.
“I’ll be back in a little while. You just, uh, wait.”
“And try not to like smoke crack or something? Yeah, I can handle that.”
He looks a little aggrieved as he hurries away.
I wait out back in the shade for him to return. It’s the longest half hour of my life—I keep thinking about what I’m going to do if I’m actually pregnant with Liam’s baby. Obviously, I can’t have it. But I also don’t want to get an abortion. Keeping the baby is out of the question, but not keeping the baby is even worse. It’s like I’m being crushed by a slowly closing trash compactor with two equally horrific decisions on either side, and no matter which way I choose to turn I’ll be crushed into pulp.
Orin returns with the tests. “I’ll sit with you,” he says.
“Uh, no, you won’t. I have to pee on them, remember?”
He hesitates. “Right. Good point. I’ll be down here, waiting.”
I grab the bag and hurry up to the bathroom.
Four big glasses of water and four tests later, I have my results.
Chapter 20
Alisa
“Alisa, you’ve been hiding in there for two hours,” Orin hisses through my bedroom door. “Open up and talk to me. I’m freaking out!”
I almost feel bad for him. I really do. Except I’m also freaking out and I have a really good reason for it.
