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“Both, mostly.” He sighs as he puts my toiletries in the bathroom. “He means well. You realize that, right?”
“I don’t care what he means.” I sit on the edge of the bed, feeling more scared and alone than I’ve ever felt before. “He’s not the pregnant one. All he gets to do is make big proclamations while I have to actually, you know, go through with all these changes.”
Orin lingers near the doorway, looking uncomfortable. “Look, uh, I don’t know anything about being a pregnant woman, but—”
I grimace, holding up a hand. “Please don’t start giving me advice.”
“I was just going to say, I can help find you a good OB/GYN. One that’ll make house calls.”
I soften a bit. “Thanks. Yeah. I mean, I guess, yeah, I should do that.”
“I know you’re afraid. I can’t imagine what you feel, but I can guess that much. I just want you to know that I’ll do whatever I can to help make this process as easy as it can be.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that.” I pause for a second. “Can you maybe make Liam less of a bastard?”
“Sweetie, no god in heaven could pull off a miracle like that.” He shakes his head as he leaves.
Liam doesn’t come for me that night. I think of him while alone in my big bed, surrounded by a bunch of seashells and anchors—I kept the beach theme in this room for whatever reason—and some stupid voice in my head wishes he’d crawl under these blankets with me and wrap his arms around my body.
Not that I really crave him, but more that I could use some human comfort at my lowest.
I wonder if this is how Liliya felt. Alone, trapped in a marriage to a man she didn’t love, afraid she’d never escape, no longer in control of her own life. I can’t stop thinking about my poor sister and those last days, about the drugs she took, about climbing into that bathtub. Did she know she was going to die before she got in? Or did she feel tired and slip under? Did Rustik force them on her, or did he trick her into swallowing them?
I get up early the next morning, exhausted. I barely got any sleep. Too many thoughts swirl in my head, fighting for dominance. I put on running clothes, tighten my shoes, and head downstairs ready to get in a few miles. I need to release some of this stress or I’m going to explode.
But the moment I go near the door, Orin’s there, blocking my way.
“Morning,” he says, sounding cheery. “How are you feeling? Do you want some toast? Coffee? We’ll go easy on the caffeine now that you’re pregnant. I made half-caff today. Want some?”
“No, thanks. I’m going for a run.” I reach out for the knob, but he doesn’t move. “Where the hell do you sleep?”
“In a room in the basement,” he says quickly. “Sorry, hold on, I can’t let you do that.”
“You sleep—” I shake my head in confusion. “Wait, you’re not letting me leave?”
“Sorry. Liam left strict orders. Now that you’re pregnant, it’s back to lockdown for the foreseeable future.”
My hands curl into fists. “Orin. If you value your life, you will move.”
“While you’re terrifying, I can’t do that.” I groan as Orin flicks the top bolt and slams it closed. “Sorry,” he says, looking sheepish. “I like you a lot, Alisa, but you don’t pay my salary.”
“You’re really going to keep me locked up in here for money?”
“I have a sick grandmom!”
I give him a steady glare. “Don’t you dare make up some sick grandmom. Are you lying to me right now?”
He rubs the back of his neck, glancing away. “Well, she’s not sick, but she’s in a retirement home.”
“Orin! Do you pay her bills?”
“Uh, I mean, well, no, but—”
“You’re unbelievable! You’re choosing money over a person!” I throw up my hands. “You seriously think he can keep me locked up in this house for nine freaking months?”
“I’m choosing loyalty to the Crowley family,” he says, looking miserable. “Also, I didn’t go to college. Do you really think I can get a decent job in this economy without an advanced degree? It won’t be all nine months. I’m sure he’ll working something out. Liam can be very reasonable.”
“Reasonable is not the word I’d use to describe that man. Try: douchebag. Try: asshole. Try: motherfucking piece of shit.”
“That was more than one word.”
“Orin! I’m going to kick you in the face!”
“I’d be very impressed if you pulled that little maneuver off.” He sighs and gestures into the house. “Come on, I made you breakfast. You can work out in the gym for now and later today you can talk to Liam.”
I shove my finger in his face. “I swear, if that coffee sucks, I’m going to freak out.”
