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When I got her text a little while ago, there was no way I’d leave her to suffer alone.I’m so scared, Jax. Lilah can’t die,she wrote, and as soon as I read it, I jumped in my car.
Fuck death. It can creep up on anyone. It doesn’t care who you are or that you may have your whole life to live. It’ll take your last breath until your flesh is nothing but a mix of dirt and destruction. I’ve seen it up close, had the smell imprinted into my brain where it bleeds on repeat every day. So yeah, I know what she’s feeling, so if I can do one damn thing to make this easier for her, I’ll do it.
My nostrils flare, not knowing if Lilah is okay. What kind of man hurts a woman? Anger surges through me, permeating every inch of my flesh. I want to kill her ex. I want to cause him pain like he’s never known for what he did to that girl. Men like that shouldn’t remain breathing, there’s no use for them. I’d happily volunteer to end Ash’s miserable life.
When my friend, Damian met Lilah a month ago, he fell hard, but my boy wouldn’t admit it, not right away. Her refusing to leave Ash, the abusive fuck who put her in the hospital, didn’t help at all. So they’ve definitely had a pretty rough start at being together, but I want to believe she’ll make it through this and that in the end things will work out for the both of them.
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Damian, Gabe, or the people they love. Nothing. The three of us have been through a lot. We met in Delta Force training eight years ago and retired from the military around the same time. I think we all kind of had enough of the life, at least I know I did.
Once we got out, Damian had the idea of starting our own private security firm, so JDG Global Security was born. We cater to the rich and famous who need some extra protection. We have over twenty men and women who work for us. From hackers to bomb experts, we have the best of the best on our payroll. We love what we do, and the money is good.
After Ash hurt Lilah, he went on the run, but we’ll find him. Not only are the police after him but so are the members of our team, including Gabe and me. Everyone’s out scouting every rat hole he may be hiding in, and when we find him, he’ll pray for mercy that’ll never come.
I don’t know what Damian will do if Lilah doesn’t pull through. She’s the only woman he’s ever loved. He won’t survive if anything happens to her. “Fuck!”She’s gotta be okay.
When Lexi texted, I was in the middle of the search too, but as soon as I read those words, I knew she needed me, and I wanted to be that person. So I told the group I’d be back in a bit, hopped in the car, and drove back to the hospital.
I know how completely hopeless it is to watch someone you love die right in front of you. I want to hold her, to give her some hope, to let her know she’s got me, however she needs.
I’ve done a good job of keeping women at arm’s length, but somehow with every witty text and playful exchange we’ve had over the last month, she snuck past my defenses and I don’t want to give her up.
I pull up into a spot not far from the entrance to the hospital and that’s when I see her. Long, tanned legs crossed, she sits outside in the same spot we sat in earlier together. Her face is covered with her hands as her shoulders tremble violently. She’s drowning in tears and I want to save her, I want to be her life vest. Clenching my jaw, my hands beg to reach out and hold her like I did before.
It’s been a while since I held a woman that way, not unless we were both naked, even then it wasn’t the same. It felt good. She felt good in my arms.
Getting out, I gently close the door, not wanting to startle her. As I take measured steps forward, her low sobs damn well wreck me, sinking their teeth into my skin until I hurt right along with them. I don’t know what it is about her, but she’s got a hold on me and I don’t want to let go. Maybe shared pain connects even the most damaged hearts. There’s no hope in fixing mine, it’s been mangled long ago, but there’s still a chance I can heal hers.
“Hey, Lex.”
She looks up, wiping away her tears, mascara smeared under her eyes. So beautiful. “Jax! What are you doing here?” She sits upright and uncrosses her legs.
I take a seat beside her. “I ah—I wanted to make sure you’re okay.” I run a hand through my hair. “It sounded like you needed someone.”
Her brows crease with thought. “Are you that someone?”
I smirk. “I sure as shit hope so. You think I drive back all this way for just anyone?” She laughs, wiping her nose with the back of her hand, and my heart hammers inside me. I don’t know what we are, but she matters to me, and right now that’s enough.
She turns to me, pulling her long blond hair behind her ear, her round hazel eyes now streaked with red from her tears. Seeing her so upset does a number on my heart. “You didn’t have to come. Damian said you all went out looking for that asshole. You should be there, not here with me.”
She’s so damn gorgeous. She’s perfection wrapped up in dangerous curves, and if I’m not careful, I may crash. “There’s about twelve of us looking for him, they can manage it without me for a little bit. Unless you rather me go…”
She looks down into her lap, her fingers weaving in and out. “I want you to stay I—I don’t want to be alone.” Her shoulders tremble as large tears explode from her eyes. “She’s my best friend and I let her down.” Cupping her face in her hands, she cries into her palms.
“Oh, baby, come here.” I move in closer, no longer comfortable with the distance. She looks up at me, tears falling down her face. I loop one arm under her thighs while the other goes around her back and I place her on my lap.
I cradle her small frame, her head resting against my chest like there’s nowhere else she’d rather be. “Shh, it’s okay. I’m here. It’s not your fault. You didn’t know what he was doing to her.”
She continues to cry, her wails muffled by my shirt. “She’s gonna be okay.” I’d tell her every lie I could if it meant I could save her an ounce of misery.
She clasps my T-shirt in a tight fist and my chest twists right along with it. Every painful sob and every tiny sniffle brings me closer to the edge of despair. I feel her tears on my skin soaking through my shirt, and I wish more than anything I could see her beautiful smile instead.
“Let’s go get something to eat.” I rub the soft bare skin of her back, above her tank top.
She pulls away just enough to catch my eyes and the emptiness in her gaze has me wanting to do things to her I know I shouldn’t.
“No, I can’t do that, what if the surgery’s over before I come back? I can’t simply leave her.”
“I won’t take you far. They told us earlier they’d be operating for hours and you need to eat something.”
