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“He was your father.”
I sighed in frustration. “Why is so much importance imbued into that word? Why can’t we just let it be what it is. Not all fathers are deserving of the name.”
“That might be true,” he nodded, “yet deserving or not, we imbue them with a mystical kind of power, do we not? Forever craving their approval?”
I looked away. “Not forever.”
At the end there, when he was lashing out at any—imagined—offence and just breaking things and people, I was too mad at him to want anything from him but for him to go away. When he pushed my mother down the stairs, it was the last straw. I wondered if that was safe enough to tell the good doctor.
“My father was cruel and abusive. I hated him.”
He nodded. “And so you were happy to step in his shoes?”
I drew in a breath. “No. I was terrified. But there was nobody else.”
“Your sister and your mother needed you.”
“Yes.”
“Who didyouneed?”
I looked at him in surprise and almost laughed. “What?”
“Who didyouneed, Alexei?”
I looked away. Who had I needed? I needed my mother. But she took the fall for me. She took the punishment so that I could keep the family together. There was no room for what Ineeded. For whatanyoneneeded.
I sighed and didn’t say a word.
“This is your assignment for the weekend, Alexei. Find out what—or who—you need and how you are going to go about getting that for yourself.”
“All that in one weekend?” I asked in mock-disbelief.
Dr. Kaur laughed. “Yes, darling. One weekend.”
I gave a very forced sigh, crossing my arms. “And how am I supposed to do that?”
“Well, for one thing, it would take a lot of reflection, self-examination, and willingness to face some painful truths. Are you ready?”
I shrugged. “Eh, piece of cake.”
Dr. Kaur grinned. “Good. I’ll see you next week.”
I got to my feet with a sigh. “Yeah, okay. If you say so.”
I walked out and joined Vlad where he was waiting in the corridor. He led the way to the elevator and pressed the button, one hand on his gun. Vlad did not approve of my therapy sessions. He was nervous about me going to the same place every week despite the fact that I varied the days.
Too many unknowns.
His nerves comforted me. It told me he had a 360-degree awareness of his environment. We went downstairs and my phone buzzed. I dug it out to see Nora’s name. She was through with her session as well. I knew she’d meet us in the parking lot. She preferred not to have a bodyguard following her around, but she was fine with a tracker in the chain around her neck that she never took off. I could trace her right on my phone, so I knew she was already in the lobby of the next building.
Still, she tried to sneak up on me, coming up behind me and jumping on my back. “How many times have I told you you’re playing with fire sneaking up on me like that? The day I break your neck you’ll have no one but yourself to blame.”
She giggled. “Sure, big guy. I’m so scared.”
I huffed, walking over to the passenger door, and letting her get down as I opened the back door for her. Vlad got in the driver’s seat, and I got in the back with her.
“Good session?” I asked.
