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Massimo grimaces. “That’s fucked up, considering you were married to her mom when you met.”
“I know.” I run a hand through my hair.
“What are you going to do? Marry her?”
I shake my head. “I’m not planning on getting married a third time.”
“She’s twenty-one years old with her life ahead of her.” Massimo’s voice is free of judgment. “Tell me how you’ll give her what she most likely wants.”
“Such as?” I ask.
“A family of her own.”
It has crossed my mind, but Ella and I haven’t discussed our future. Our lust blinded us, and nothing else mattered at the time. It wasn’t smart, and a part of me wants to continue blindly without getting into that conversation.
Now that I’ve had Ella, there’s no way I’m letting her go. It’s selfish, but she is mine.
I shrug. “She’ll get over it.”
Massimo shakes his head. “I don’t think you know what you’re talking about. Paisley is a mess because we haven’t conceived yet.”
I purse my lips together. “Still no luck with IVF?”
Massimo shakes his head. “No, and she said it’s breaking her to keep trying. The disappointment each month when she gets her period.”
I squeeze my son’s shoulder. “Hopefully, this time, it will take.”
He looks dejected. “All I’m saying is Ella might be desperate to be a mom. Are you going to take that away from her?”
“Are you suggesting I can’t get her pregnant?”
“Can you after the cancer?”
I nod. “I believe so.”
“Do you want to at your age?” He asks.
I shake my head. “No. I’ve done that shit, and I’m not doing it again.”
“Good luck telling Ella that. Maybe you’ll be lucky, and she won’t want kids.”
I sense she does want kids. Every Wednesday evening, Ronan comes to the house, and the way she watches me with him, I think she’s imagining me being a dad to her kids.
“Fuck.” I run a hand through my hair. “Thanks for the reality check.”
Massimo raises a brow. “I sense that’s sarcastic.”
“You could have left me in my bubble longer.”
He chuckles. “Sorry about that.” He claps me on the shoulder. “I’ve got to get going.”
“Sure. See you later.”
Massimo walks out of the room. Our relationship has improved since he stood up and became Don of the famiglia when I was diagnosed. I guess I’ve changed and taken the time for my children when I rarely did before.
I slump into a chair at the boardroom table and run a hand through my hair.
Despite agreeing with Ella we wouldn’t tell anyone about us, I fucked that up almost instantly. Probably because a part of me doesn’t want to keep it a secret. A part of me wants to show the world that my pretty little angel belongs to me and me alone.
