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But I didn't have time now and I needed it. In all my life I'd never had something in front of me that was so terrifying because it felt so right.
I leaned against the wall and wiped more tears away. Some of them were because I missed Aunty with a bone deep ache. But some of them were because this choice was pulling on my soul in way nothing ever had.
"My Queen?" said a deep voice in front of me. "Who has caused you grief? They will pay for such a transgression."
I chuckled through the tears and shook my head.
"No, that's...wow!"
Gone were the gorgeous scales, the golden tipped crest on the top of his head, the otherworldly eyes. In their place stood a bona fide silver fox.
He was still very tall, over six feet, broad shoulders clothed in a suit jacket and white dress shirt that was open enough to expose the hollow at the base of his thick neck. He was sporting a salt and pepper goatee that was closely trimmed, and short salt and pepper hair. His eyes were such a light brown that they bordered on gold and his skin was sun kissed.
"Do you approve?" he asked with a smirk.
"Now you're just fishing for compliments."
"Interesting phrasing. Now, what does my Queen require?"
He reached for me and I let him. His huge hands rested on my hips and then circled around to grab handfuls of my ample butt.
"I love this," he growled, kneading the flesh. "You're so soft, so ripe. I want to spend eternity touching you, licking you, making you cry out in pleasure."
I held onto his firm biceps and shook my head.
"You say all the right things."
"You sound disappointed."
"Because I once knew someone that did that. And when enough time had passed, he got tired of me. For him, they were just words and I bought it all because I wanted to believe it so badly. It ended up costing me."
He frowned, fire burned in his gaze but something else too. Compassion, pain.
"I also knew someone like this," he whispered, "and he harmed many with his lies. I swore to your ancestress that I would never be like him. And now, sweet Queen, I promise you. I will never lie to you, never wear a mask to hide my true intentions. With you, my heart is bare. All of me is yours to know, yours to command. I am King to everyone, but to you, I am a servant."
I stared at him, utterly stunned, completely turned on and overwhelmed by fear that I was going to wake up any minute now. My heart lurched with longing and everything in me wanted to throw my arms around him and accept what he offered.
But when you've been caught in something that systematically crushed your spirit little by little, until it was nearly gone, no matter how long ago it was, no matter how much of yourself you've rebuilt, it's hard to grab a hold of such hope without hesitation.
"You do not believe me?" he asked.
"I...it's hard to explain," I admitted, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I want to. I feel that you're truthful. But I...I've been hurt and I need time."
I internally cringed at those words. They sounded so weak, so pathetic.
But instead of complaining, instead of pushing me to just trust him, the Sea King cupped my cheek and planted a gentle kiss on my lips.
"Of course, my love," he whispered against my mouth. "I have waited this long, I can wait a little longer."
Even though we don't have a whole lotta time to wait.
My stomach chose that time to let out a long, loud growl and I tried pull out of his arms in utter embarrassment.
"You are starving," he said with wide eyes. "We must procure you sustenance."
I took a deep breath and nodded. Yes, food first, life changing decisions second.
"Do you have a name?" I asked as we started to walk down the stairs.
