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The agony of Lorenzo’s betrayal is so acute that reliving his unforgivable words renders me almost numb. It’s as though my brain knows that to allow myself to feel the pain of those words would be too much for me to bear all at once, so it won’t let me. Instead, I remember snatched pieces, and I recall the hurt. The soul-crushing hurt of him eviscerating my heart all over again.
For a few hours after it happened, I even convinced myself that he’d come to me and somehow take back those terrible things he said. But of course he didn’t. Lorenzo Moretti might just be the most damaged and stubborn man I’ve ever known. He’s either beyond redemption or I pity the woman who eventually decides to stick around long enough to help him work through his pain. Because he’s a selfish son of a bitch, and if he was right about one thing, it’s that I deserve so much better.
I roll back my shoulders and swallow down a fresh wave of sorrow. “I found a few apartments nearby. Would you come look at a few with me? I have some savings and…”
Kat pulls me into a hug. “Whatever you need, honey. I’m here for you.”
ChapterFifty-Four
LORENZO
Istare out the window without seeing anything. Since the night of the ball, I’ve felt like I exist in a void. Walking around in a body that doesn’t belong to me.
I don’t realize I’m not alone until she speaks. “You’re a gigantic asshole, you know that?”
I spin around. “What?”
Kat stands in front of my desk, holding my nephew on her hip and glaring at me with contempt. “I said you’re an asshole.”
I lick my lips and sigh. I have no desire to get into an argument with her, especially not when she’s right.
“If I didn’t love you so much…” She shakes her head when I don’t give her any response other than a blank stare. “That being said, can you look after Micah for me? Dante took Gabriella and Marco to see Toni.”
I scowl at the mention of my half sister’s name. We’ve never had a great relationship, although it’s certainly improved since our father died.
“I’ll be back in a few hours, but there’s some expressed milk in the fridge if he needs any.”
“Where are you going?”
“To help Mia look for an apartment. I’d take him but it’s hot out and he gets a little cranky in the car lately.”
Mia’s looking for an apartment? I swallow the question down without asking it. It’s for the best. She needs to be far away from me before I fuck up her life more than I already have.
“So will you?” she asks again, and I realize I haven’t answered her.
“Sure.” I take Micah from her arms, and he curls his chubby fingers in my beard and giggles.
“Thanks,” she says softly, her eyes shining with unshed tears.
I glare at her in warning. “Don’t, Kat.”
“I didn’t say anything.” She kisses her son on the cheek. “Be good for Uncle Loz, baby.”
Then she walks out of the room, and I’m sure she calls me an asshole again under her breath.
Drool runs down my nephew’s chin, and I wipe it with the pad of my thumb, which he tries to suck into his mouth. I arch an eyebrow at him. “You think I’m an asshole?”
“Dada,” he replies.
I look into his dark brown eyes. So innocent and trusting. A vise clamps around my heart and squeezes.
“Dada,” he says again, sucking his chubby fist into his mouth.
And I see it all again. Mia at the ball. My dream from the other night. My legs buckle, and I sink to the floor with Micah in my arms, fighting to breathe like someone just sucked all the air out of the room.
“Dada. Dada,” Micah chants, clapping his hands and squealing. Images flash through my head. Mia in her sexy-as-fuck heels. Mia being the perfect submissive. Wearing my collar. Wearing my ring. Children with Mia’s honey-blond hair and sparkling hazel eyes…
“Dada,” Micah coos, resting his plump little cheek against my chest.
