AllFreeNovel
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“No, baby.” I kiss the top of his head. “Not me.”
The realization that itcouldbe me hits me like a forty-ton truck.
My heart pounds, threatening to explode through my ribcage. Kat’s right, I am a gigantic fucking asshole. I destroyed Mia because I allowed my guilt to consume me.
I look down at my nephew’s smiling face. I thought I could never have what my younger brother has. That I could never have a family of my own. But why can’t I be called Dada or Daddy for real?
The only thing stopping me is this soul-crushing guilt. Finding the strength to get off the floor, I go to my desk and grab the envelope containing my wife’s letter. As agonizing as they were for me to read, I can’t imagine the pain she must have felt when she wrote these words. Jealousy was Anya’s one major flaw. After I put in a ton of effort to prove my commitment and devotion to her, she eventually trusted my loyalty. Still, a small jealous streak remained. How hard must it have been for her to contemplate the notion of me loving someone besides her? My incredible wife rose above her grief and fear, and even her jealousy, to urge me to keep living, proving what I already knew to be true. Anya’s kind heart and compassion outweighed all her other flaws combined. And she loved me just as much as I loved her.
Cradling my nephew against my chest, I stride out of the library and find Kat in the hallway, fixing her purse over her shoulder. Mia, standing beside her cousin, looks up. Her eyes lock on mine, and the expression on her face almost breaks me. There’s no light left, not even a flicker. I stole it from her. Without taking my focus off Mia, I hold Micah toward Kat and tell her that I can’t watch him.
I see her frown from the corner of my eye. “What? Why? Is this because I called you an asshole?”
Mia glares at me, her jaw set.
“No. It’s because you’re not going.”
“Oh, for goodness’ sake,” Kat says with a sigh.
I drag my eyes away from Mia for a second. “Can you give us a moment?”
“No,” Mia snaps.
“Please?” I say to Kat.
Rolling her eyes, she sighs again. “I’ll be in the den if you need me,” she tells Mia before giving me a pointed look and walking away.
“Kat?” Mia shouts after her, but my sister-in-law ignores her. “Fine.” She huffs and stomps toward the front door.
An armed guard stands nearby, and he looks at me for guidance. I shake my head. “Sorry. I can’t let you leave,” he says, stepping in front of Mia and blocking her path. She spins on her heel, her hazel eyes blazing green with fury.
“I am not your prisoner, Lorenzo. Let me out of this house right now.”
“No.”
“What the…” Pressing her lips together, she draws a deep breath through her nose. “I can’t even deal with you right now.”
“Leave us.” The guard nods politely and goes outside. At least Mia doesn’t try to bolt after him. She crosses her arms over her chest and taps her foot on the marble floor, refusing to look at me.
“Mia?”
Pursing her lips, she tilts her head toward the ceiling.
“Look at me.”
Her throat constricts as she swallows.
“Now.”
She lowers her gaze to the floor, but she turns her head in my direction.
My heart pounds so hard, I’m certain she must hear it. Can she not see how fucking brutal this is? “Please, sunshine. Please look at me.”
Her head lifts, eyes flickering over my face before they land on mine. “What do you want from me, Lorenzo?”
“Stay.”
She snorts. “Stay?”
