AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“She’s an adult. I just want her to be happy.”
“I’m not sure Ford feels the same way,” Keaton observed.
Ford absolutely didnotfeel the same way. If it were up to him, their mother would live in a convent for the rest of her life.
“How are things going at PT?”
“Good.” In truth, he’d stopped going once he got to New York.
The filming schedule was grueling. They’d decided to film both season five and season six, which was an all-stars season, simultaneously while all the judges’ schedules allowed. He’d worked twelve-to-sixteen-hour days six, sometimes seven days a week.
His head was all fucked up over being around tattooing but not actually being able to tattoo and, maybe even more fucked up over Kennedy. He hadn’t planned to stop. The first week he was there, he missed one session. The second week he missed another. As the weeks went on, he was missing more than he was making until he finally just stopped going altogether.
Next week he was scheduled for another round of tests, which he was sure would have the same results as they had every other time. They would say that he’d regained some function, but not all. His nerves were responding but not totally healed.
Once those results were back, he planned on officially retiring.
“Knox mentioned you have a show coming up,” Keaton said as they finished their cooldown.
“Yep.”
“Let me know when it is.”
“Okay,” Seb wasn’t trying to be a dick by giving his cousin short, vague answers. He knew that his cousin was only digging because he was worried about him. He appreciated that his cousin wanted to make sure he was okay. But that didn’t mean Seb wanted to discuss what was bothering him. How could he explain that he’d fallen in love with someone who wanted more than he could offer?
He guessed he could just come out and say that, but he knew what his cousin would say. He’d tell Seb that he shouldn’t let a list stop him from telling Kennedy how he felt. He’d say that if he really loved her, he owed it to himself to tell her. He’d say that Seb was a great guy and that Kennedy would be crazy not to be with him if she felt the same way.
The problem with that advice was that Seb had thought all that himself and agreed with all three points. He’d been so close to telling Kennedy how he felt the night of the festival, but after having time to think about it this past week, he’d decided against it. The more he thought about it, the more he realized what a selfish thing it would be for him to do.
As badly as he wanted to be with her, being with him would mean she was settling. She deserved more than that. She deserved to have everything she wanted in a man. She didn’t deserve a compromise.
When they reached the Snack Shack, Keaton slapped Seb on the shoulder. “Good run, man. You should come by when you’re ready and we can roll.”
Rolling with Keaton was something that Seb had been unsure he’d ever be able to do again after the accident. But his back had been feeling better than ever, so he might just take him up on it. It was a great workout and would definitely increase his stamina.
“Will do,” Seb responded as his phone buzzed in his pocket.
“See you tonight,” Keaton lifted his hand as he continued down the street toward his MMA studio.
“See ya.”
The coed bachelorette/bachelor party was tonight. As the unofficial best man and maid of honor, he and Kennedy had sort of taken over the reins of planning it. He’d booked the venue and was footing the bill, and Kennedy had taken care of the invite list, DJ, and party games. They’d emailed back and forth several times while he was in New York coordinating it.
Each time he’d responded to her, he’d written and then deleted that he missed her, that he couldn’t stop thinking of her, that he was in love with her. Each and every time instead of telling her how he felt, he’d just told her he hoped that she was doing well, or having a nice day, or some equally generic phrase.
The most personal he’d gotten was asking how Chunkster and her grandma were. She always replied with equally generic pleasantries. He’d wondered if maybe she’d barely noticed that he wasn’t around. If the nights they’d shared together had just been blips on her radar.
But then, when he saw her at the festival, when he looked in her eyes, when he felt her body quiver at his touch, when she got angry at him for saying he missed her, he knew that he hadn’t imagined their connection.
She’d felt it, too. Which made him even more scared to tell her how he felt, because then she might end up compromising to be with him. He couldn’t let that happen.
His phone buzzed and he saw that it was a message from his mom.
He couldn’t help but feel disappointed that it wasn’t from Kennedy. She’d liked the last message he’d sent with an update about the party, but hadn’t written back.
Mom:Can you stop by today and help me hang up some art?
Seb quickly replied that he’d be there in fifteen. He knew that his mom was perfectly capable of hanging up art herself, but she was most likely using it as an excuse to catch up, aka grill him on his time in NY.
