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When my phone rang at nine-thirty and I saw my business manager’s name on the screen, I hesitated. We talked every couple of months to discuss investments, my spending, any unexpected bills that came along, things like that. I was dog tired and desperately wanted a nap, so I wasn’t in the mood, but I figured it was better to get it over with. Otherwise, I’d have to call him later.
“Hey, Bruno.”
“Hey, Zeke.”
“What’s up?”
“Same shit, different day. You know how it is.”
I chuckled. “I do.”
“So, listen. There’s been some spending I think you need to know about.”
“I haven’t bought much of anything,” I said in confusion.
“I know. I’m talking about your mom.”
I sighed. This wasn’t going to be good.
“What’d she buy now?” I asked warily.
“Three new Mercedes. At least, she’s trying to. Along with the insurance and extended warranties. The dealership called me yesterday.”
“Three?” I demanded, incredulously.
“Yup. One for your dad, one for someone named Willie Frost, and one for Roman Stepanian.”
I huffed out a breath of irritation. Willie was my mother’s deadbeat brother-in-law—the husband of her deceased sister—and Roman was my cousin. He was my mother’s brother’s son. He was thirty-two, claimed he was a mechanic, though I’d never seen him work on a car, and had recently gotten married. I knew this because although I hadn’t been invited to the wedding, my mother had gifted him and his wife five thousand dollars.
“There’s also a nine-thousand-dollar bill from Macy’s and—”
“Nine grand?” I demanded. “Jesus fucking Christ. How many shoes and purses does she need?”
“Oh, my friend, you ain’t heard nothin’ yet. Fifteen grand at the Coach store and another six at Neiman-Marcus.”
“Turn off the fucking Amex,” I hissed, irritation washing over me like a blanket of red-hot fire ants. My parents were generally amazing and had been the most supportive people a musician like me could have wanted when I told them I was going to play music for a living. I didn’t mind supporting them, and I was extremely generous, but this was ridiculous. I didn’t know what was happening with my mom, but I was going to find out.
“You sure?” he asked quietly. We’d done this once before and my mother had cried. It had been a whole ordeal, but I didn’t have the patience for this kind of shit anymore. Especially when I was looking to take some time off. I couldn’t afford to do that, though, if my family was planning to spend my money as fast as I made it.
“Absolutely. And my dad’s card gets turned off at five grand.”
“Your dad never uses it.”
“I know. But once Mom figures out she’s cut off, she’ll try to use his and that’s not happening.”
“What do I say when she calls?”
“She won’t be calling. I’ll take care of this today. I have to go. Thanks for the head’s up.”
“So… you want me to pay all of these bills?”
“That’s a big no. Pay the department store shit, but the cars? Fuck that. Tell them no.”
“Your mom will probably stroke out.”
“Believe me, I know, but this is out of control. I’ll call you back once I’ve talked to her.”
“You might want to have a couple of drinks first.”
