Page 69 of Rock Bottom


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“How’d that orgasm work out for you? Feeling more relaxed?”

She giggled against my chest. “Maybe. How about you?”

“I’m pretty damn relaxed.”

“If we keep doing this, there will probably be a lot of interruptions.”

“If? Is there still a question mark about what we’re doing?”

“Maybe a few.”

“Like?”

“What are we doing, Zeke? Sex is fun. It feels good and is relaxing and all of that. But emotionally it’s dangerous for me. I’m already dealing with what we’ll call undiagnosed postpartum depression, and even if I wasn’t, I don’t think I’m equipped to handle a friends-with-benefits thing.”

“Friends with benefits?” I countered. “What the hell makes you think that’s what I’m proposing?”

“What else can it be? We’re not dating.”

“We could be. Will be. If you’ll agree to come to California.”

“I can’t come to California, especially not now. Aunt Meg needs me. You know that.”

“Both of you. All of you, I mean.” She was the only woman I’d ever met who could twist me up inside without even doing anything.

“Aunt Meg is probably going to need months to get better. Maybe even rehab or—”

“I know all that, honey.” I shifted our positions so I could look into her eyes. “I have room at the house for the three of you. We can put Meg into a rehab facility or have a nurse come to the house. Whatever you need.”

“But why?” she whispered. “I don’t understand why. This can’t be because you’re in love with me, and if you’re not, then all we’re doing is setting one or both of us up for heartbreak.”

“I can’t call it love,” I admitted. “But I can call it desire. And I don’t mean sexual. I want to be with you. I like you. I love spending time together.”

“We’ve literally spent two nights together.”

“Are you telling me you don’t feel it too? The need to see what we could be if we gave this a chance?”

“Yes, but it’s different for me. You have very little to lose. You have massive job security, a big family, your band, a home, and really good health insurance. I literally have nothing except Aunt Meg and the baby, both of whom rely on me. If I quit my job and come to California, what happens to my life if you send me packing?”

“That won’t happen,” I said smoothly. “I’ll pay for the upkeep on this house and any bills to go with it. I’ll make sure you and Meg have everything you need and I’ll deposit money into your account. I was meaning to do it right away, but I was distracted when I left here last time. How much will make you feel secure? A hundred grand?”

Her mouth fell open. “This isn’t about money!” she hissed, pushing at my chest. “We have to think about other people too, so this is about doing the right things for the right reasons. And money has very little to do with that.”

“What other reasons do we need? I want to be with you. I want to touch you every minute of the day. I enjoy talking to you. Cooking and eating dinner tonight, even with a needy four-month-old in the mix, felt normal. Natural. Good.”

“Yes. It feels good now because you have nothing else going on. What happens next week when you’re at the studio fourteen hours a day and I’m in a strange house in a strange city, trying to navigate Aunt Meg’s doctors or bills or whatever else might come up?”

“I have people to do that stuff,” I replied. “You can come to the studio some days to listen and hang out. Bring the baby up to meet my friends, get to know them. And it won’t be fourteen hours a day unless we get behind. Typically, we’re there six to eight hours every day, like a regular job except with skewed hours sometimes. Noon to six is our sweet spot, though we’ll go later if we’re in the groove. We’re a pretty well-oiled machine once the songs are written. There are exceptions, but that’s what they are—exceptions. It’s not the norm. So I’ll be around a lot more than you think.”

“I’m scared,” she finally said. “And I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Trust me. I know I don’t have the right to ask that, but can you try? Take a leap of faith, Presley. For me, for you, and for us.”

“I’m trying. Really. But I’ve been taking care of myself for so long, I don’t know how to trust anyone beyond Aunt Meg.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

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