AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I was mad. I was hurt. I was disappointed.
All of those together made it hard to think straight.
“Dorian is working on damage control,” was all I could think to say.
“Are you mad?” Her voice shook a little as she sniffled.
“Yeah, I guess I am. But not about the porn. I’m frustrated by your lack of faith in me.”
“I wanted to tell you so many times.”
“Then why didn’t you? I flat-out asked you, more than once, what was going on, what was bothering you. And you continued to lie to my face.”
“Because I didn’t want you to leave!”
“Nothing in your past would have made me leave you,” I said quietly. “But this? Secrets and lies and the lack of trust? I don’t know how we get past this.”
“I need to explain,” she said. “Will you let me?”
“I can’t,” I admitted. “I need time and space. Right now, the focus is the band and damage control. On a personal level, you and I need to take some time apart.”
“How much time?” she asked, her tear-filled eyes finding mine.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged half-heartedly because this was much harder than I’d thought it would be. “Let’s see how we feel in a few days.”
“O-okay.” She slowly came toward me.
When she was directly in front of me, she reached out and put a hand on the side of my face. “Please believe I wanted to tell you. Every single day. I was so afraid you would be disgusted. And once I started falling in love with you, it got harder.”
“Love is supposed to be unconditional,” I said. “But part of that is trust. Something we obviously don’t have. If you can’t trust me, I’m not sure what’s left.”
“Do you think you’ll ever be able to forgive me?”
I hated myself for what I was about to say, but I had to say it anyway.
“I don’t know.”
34
Devyn
Tears were a huge waste of time and energy.
They didn’t fix anything, they made my face hurt, and they gave me a headache.
After Larry had ripped out my heart and stomped on it, I’d sworn he would be the last man I ever cried over.
Of course, I hadn’t loved him the way I loved Kingston.
And this hurt a million times more than anything Larry had done.
Greatty and I had left the house and holed up at a hotel in Anaheim, far enough away from L.A. to make it harder for the press to hound us, and under her name. I needed breathing room and a place to lick my wounds, because in addition to my broken heart, I had no idea what was next.
Was I still in the band?
Was I leaving for London in two days?
What did the other guys think about what was going on?
