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The sun had started to go down and I’d been daydreaming as I watched it get lower and lower in the sky.
I smiled. “Just thinking about something Z said earlier.”
“Yeah? What’s that?”
I told him about our conversation. “I never considered fame. Money, success, the potential to work on your next album with you… but never the celebrity part of it. That’s stupid, isn’t it?”
“No.” He shook his head. “I think it’s probably hard to wrap your head around the life we live until you’ve experienced it. To be honest, it can be a huge hassle sometimes. Don’t get it twisted—I love my life—but there are aspects of it that are a pain in the ass. Having to hire security when we make appearances or go to events like award shows and shit. Going out to dinner with my family and suddenly having fans rush the table to take pictures. Being out on a date and having the paparazzi following us. That’s annoying as fuck.
“This life can be hard, Devyn. That’s why we’re doing a short-term contract that only extends to the end of the European tour. From the outside looking in, it might seem like we’re only giving you a trial run, or that we’re not willing to go all in. And that’s partly true because it’s not just our interests we’re protecting. It’s yours. The fact of the matter is you might not like what you see, or how it feels when hundreds of thousands of fans want a piece of you. Or having the press taking apart every single detail of your life. And that’s going to happen, no matter how much PR we do to protect you.”
My stomach churned uncomfortably as his words sunk in.
I definitely was not prepared for that much insanity in my life, but the alternative was saying no to the opportunity of a lifetime, and I couldn’t.
I wouldn’t.
“That does make me a little nervous,” I said. “I can handle being on tour. I love playing live and it’s not like we’ll be sleeping in a van every night.”
He chuckled. “Definitely not.”
“But having reporters follow me around at home, follow me to work, or go after my grandmother to get information about me, I don’t know what to do about that.”
“You won’t have to navigate those waters by yourself,” he said. “We’re all going to be there for you.”
“You don’t even know me.”
“That’s part of what today was about,” he said gently. “We want to get to know you. It takes time to build a relationship and trust, but this is more than a business to us. This is an integral part of our lives. That’s why we couldn’t just walk away, even after losing Carter.”
“Is the sacrifice worth it?” I asked after a moment.
“Absolutely.” He didn’t even hesitate. “We’re lucky that we have the money to afford security, bodyguards, whatever we need to feel safe. And you’ll be able to afford it too. If you need an advance, to upgrade a security system at your house or anything like that, just talk to Sasha. There’s plenty of money for whatever you need. All you have to do is ask.”
“Thank you. I will.”
The problem was that it was so much more complicated than just putting in a security system or hiring a bodyguard. My priority was keeping Greatty safe, of course, but there was also the past I wanted to keep buried. If the press started digging into my life, I didn’t know how far they would go to find everything, and once that happened, it could be a disaster.
“Devyn?” Kingston appeared to be watching my face and when I glanced over at him, it was hard not to be mesmerized. It seemed to happen every damn time I was close to him, no matter how hard I tried not to.
He didn’t look away either and for a long moment, we just stood there. I would have done anything to be able to read his mind because the look in his eyes was impossible to gauge. I would have sworn he was as conflicted as I was, and I didn’t know what the hell there was to be conflicted about. This would never be anything but a professional relationship, and potentially a friendship.
Nothing more, nothing less.
So why did that disappoint me?
“You okay?” he finally asked.
I managed to smile. “It’s a lot to take in, but yes, I’ll be fine once we start rehearsing.”
“Don’t be afraid to reach out if you’re unsure what to do about the changes in your life. Maybe it’ll slide under the radar, but there’s no way to know how the press will react. If some foreign dignitary gets caught in a whorehouse with underage prostitutes, then they’ll be too distracted to care about our new bass player. We just won’t know until it happens.”
“Z basically said the same thing.”
“We understand this will be overwhelming at first, but my best advice is to focus on the music. That’s why we picked you. You’re brilliant, with the kind of stage presence you have to be born with. Take that and run with it. There will inevitably be some bullshit to deal with, but at the end of the day, it’s all about the music. That’s what I focus on when things occasionally go to shit. The music is why we’re here. Never forget that.”
Ironically, those words were music to my ears.
7
