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How much had she heard?
“How long have you been standing there?” I asked.
“Long enough to know you were talking about me.”
24
Devyn
I hadn’t heard much but it was enough to glean that the topic of conversation was me. Not that I should have been surprised after what happened earlier today. I was annoyed with myself for letting it upset me like this, but poor Danny Reimer had been rattled, and he was such a nice guy. This was our fourth project together, and he always asked for me, so I felt bad that something had happened to upset him.
“I guess there was some speculation about me cheating on Cheyenne with you after all the dancing at the Light Box. But like I told Dorian and have already told you—Chey and I have been done for months. And I’m not one of those guys who can’t be friends with an ex. Unless something bad happened, like cheating or abuse or something, I don’t understand the whole vibe where people who used to sleep together can’t just go back to being friends.”
I cocked my head. “I feel like that last part was meant for me.”
“No.” He leaned against the wall. “But it’s not bullshit. I honestly feel that way. Chey and I are still friends. I’m still friends with Kinney Lane, who I dated like ten years ago. And she’s married with a bunch of kids now.”
“But you don’t work with her on a daily basis.”
“True. And that’s why I said my comment wasn’t directed at you. I know our situation is different. But it doesn’t make me want you any less.”
I sighed, not wanting to get into that conversation here, where too many people could potentially overhear us. “I’m going to go out on a limb and say that’s not what you were talking to Dorian about.”
He smiled. “No. We were talking about the record deal you were offered when you were with Lace and Venom. Apparently, our friend Lara interviewed Larry.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” I leaned against the wall next to him and stared off at nothing. “Look, this sounds really arrogant, but the truth of the matter is, I was the star of that band. Larry is a bass player, but he’s not as good as me, so he played rhythm guitar. Roscoe, our singer, was good, but he was a smoker who didn’t take care of his voice, so it was hit and miss on any given night. Some nights he hit it out of the park, and others, he was a growly, off-key mess.” I paused. “The other guys were good, but not great. So, at the end of the day, it was all me. I did most of the songwriting. I sang background vocals. I added harmonica and keyboards when we were in the studio at school doing our demo.”
“So, the label wanted you and not the others.”
I shook my head. “Not exactly. When Hi-Hat Records came calling, they wanted me and Roscoe. Because he really was amazing when he was on. They wanted to get him a vocal coach to teach him how to sing properly, so they met with us privately. Roscoe was loyal, and he put his foot down, saying without the others, he wasn’t willing to do it. And the label wasn’t willing to take just me, even though I basically did everything but sing. We went back and forth for a while, but the other guys didn’t know what was going on. Larry and I were dating, practically living together, so I was in a tough spot. Finally, one night I broke down and told him.”
“I’m guessing he didn’t take it well.”
I laughed, but it was without mirth. “Well, let me rephrase. I told him everything except the part about how I was willing to sign without the rest of them. I made it seem like Roscoe and I were on the same page. This was spring semester of my senior year, so I was feeling the pressure. If the band wasn’t going to get to the next level, I had to consider going home, right? In my head, this deal was the only option. I wasn’t willing to stay in Boston and continue paying to play on the club circuit. Every gig cost us money and if we didn’t have a contract in place by May, I was done.
“Larry came up with a plan, though. He decided Roscoe and I just needed to stick to our guns about us being a package deal. It was all of us or none of us. And Roscoe was on board with that.”
“So Hi-Hat backed out.”
“Sort of. They had a particular vision that included Roscoe’s voice and my songwriting. And to be fair, the deal was sketchy. It wasn’t like Warner Brothers was coming at us with advances and a tour and all that. There was no advance, they wanted to pick the guitarist and drummer, and we’d go into the studio to do a three-song demo first, before they officially signed us.”
“A spec deal?” he asked, making a face.
“Yeah. It was a mess. And then, I found out Larry had been in there talking to one of the A&R guys, insinuating that he was really the songwriting genius in the group, that we wrote all our songs together. You know, since we were a couple and lived together, that’s how it happened.”
“And he believed it?”
“It can be a very misogynistic business. You know that.”
“Yeah.”
“With Larry mucking up the waters behind the scenes, Roscoe determined to drag his buddies along for the ride, and me a little naïve about it all, things fell apart fast. Then graduation happened.”
“Uh oh. I feel like this is bad.”
I wanted desperately to tell Kingston everything, but there was no way to do that without also revealing things I never wanted him to know. Some secrets were just embarrassing, and the details of mine were the kind of thing I wanted to try to bury forever. Not because I’d done anything wrong, but because I’d allowed my boyfriend to talk me into things I would never have done otherwise. Because I’d been weak and stupid and thought myself in love. I wasn’t that naïve, insecure girl anymore and it scared me to think Kingston and the rest of the band might not like that version of me.
“We had a party. We were excited and drunk and ready to take on the world. Our last meeting with Hi-Hat had been encouraging, and we were meeting with them again the next Monday. So I’d kind of let my hair down, so to speak. The party was at the house of one of our professors, a younger guy who liked to party. It turned into the kind of event you see in movies, with people in every room, the yard, the street… loud music, more alcohol than you can imagine, and of course, everyone is having sex.”
