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“It’s different.”
“It’s only different because you’re making it different. I don’t think he’ll care.”
“I care.”
“We’ve talked about this a million times,” she said. “But you have to move past that part of your life. You were young and stupid. We acknowledge that. Who didn’t do dumb shit in college?”
“I let my boyfriend manipulate me into sleeping with other men!” I hissed. “And the whole world got to watch. For all I know, they still are. I was stupid and weak and pathetic. Everything I despise in women.”
“Do you despise me for loving a man who was openly cheating on me?” She met my gaze without flinching. That had been her situation with Roscoe while I’d been dealing with my own shit with Larry. So we’d been through a lot together.
I sighed. “You know I don’t. But that’s different. He was the one doing something wrong. Not you.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong either. Larry is the asshole who preyed on your insecurities and manipulated you into doing things you wouldn’t have done otherwise.”
“But I still did them. Of my own free will. That’s like saying ‘if your friends all jump off a bridge, are you going to jump too?’ I mean, if I jumped, I did it because I wanted to even if it was stupid. I can’t blame the others just because they told me to.”
“Look, you and Kingston need to talk about all that before you go public with the news that you’re dating. You need to let him in, Dev. If you don’t, what are you even doing? You told him you needed a commitment. Well, what kind of commitment can you make if you’re keeping this kind of secret? We both know Larry is going to spill the beans at some point.”
“He won’t.” I shook my head. “If he outs me, he outs himself.”
“He doesn’t have nearly as much to lose as you do.”
We stared at each other, and I hated that she had a point.
“Ladies, it’s almost time,” Grim said, coming over to the table. “The driver taking us to the airport just texted me and he’s about twenty minutes out, so you need to start getting ready to go.”
“I hate saying goodbye,” Jesse whispered, making a face.
“We’ll see each other in a month,” I reminded her, since we’d decided she would fly to L.A. right after Christmas. We’d spend a few days together and she’d fly with the band to London, stay for the shows in the UK and then fly home in time to go back to work.
“I get to fly to L.A. to see you and maybe even Kellan.” She grinned.
“He’s texted you every day since he left,” I reminded her.
“I know. But he’s just being nice.”
“You never know.”
“Like Kellan Cross is going to get serious with a chubby Long Island accountant.” She laughed as if it were the most ludicrous thing in the world.
Ironically, I’d once thought something similar about myself and Kingston Knight.
Life sure had a way of throwing you curveballs.
* * *
My flight home was delayed by several hours, so it was late by the time I landed at LAX and got my luggage. Grim had parked at the airport and was on the same flight since he’d been tasked with my safety, and it was nice not having to worry about finding a ride home. I’d been recognized a few times over the weekend, but we’d mostly stayed in, so I felt bad that Grim had to spend the whole weekend trailing after us, even though I hadn’t really needed him.
“You going home or to Kingston’s?” Grim asked as we got in the car.
I grinned. “Kingston’s, please.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He headed north to Beverly Hills and texted Kingston to let him know I was on the way.
KINGSTON: I’m naked, waiting for you on the piano.
I chuckled before responding.
