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“It’s just… the original plan for us was for me to get the manager’s job and have a place for us to live after she finishes college. So we can pay down the college debt…”
“I get it.” His voice is cool and even.
“And I really should have brought it up again.” I really should have. Damn it. What was I thinking not making this conversation a priority? “Anyway, I love living with you. I don’t want you to move out.”
“Well, I am, so there’s no need to worry about it.” His voice is flat. Flatter than usual. “The apartment was always supposed to belong to you, so I wasn’t planning on staying permanently.”
His words sting, even though there’s nothing inherently mean about them. “You’re leaving?”
He stares at the road. “As soon as you got the job, I went and asked Colt to build another apartment above the new stables being built. I’ll take that one. It’s only one bedroom, so with your sister coming, you can stay put.”
Why, when he’s giving me what I want, no, what Ineed, does this cut so deep? He doesn’t sound angry. His words are matter of fact. And they’re settling the conundrum I’ve been trying to work out for weeks. I should be relieved now; he knows, the room will be ready for my sister, he doesn’t seem annoyed… but his body language has changed. It might be my imagination, but I don’t feel like I can just reach over and hold his hand anymore.
He flips on the indicator, and thetick-tocknoise it makes fills the truck like a time bomb, one I don’t know how to defuse.
I didn’t bring Lily up, but why didn’themention moving out? He never told me there was another apartment being built and that he never planned on staying with me. He was going to leave all along? When was he going to mentionthat?
My gut aches and churns with heartache. I feel like I’ve just been dumped out of the blue.Mysituation is totally different. I wasn’t even saying Dash had to leave, just that my sister needs a place to live.
He parks up at the tack shop which is only around the corner from CCs. “What do we need? Just salt?” He asks the empty space instead of me.
We’re back right where we started, and I don’t mean when I started working as stable manager. I mean when I first arrived at Starlight Ranch and he probably couldn’t have told you what hair color I had for the first month.
My eyes sting. “Yeah. Just salt,” I say, face glued to the window so he can’t see my expression. Not that he’s looking at me anyway. “Thanks.”
As soon as his car door shuts, my nose fizzles and my eyes gloss over. It’s obvious by how much this hurts, that a part of me thought we might carry on living together forever. I thought if I sat on it long enough, I’d come up with some way for Dash and me to stay together, keep going until we rode off into the sunset.
But we’re not.
And he never, ever planned on it.
I clear my throat. I’m being silly. I’m imagining the worst for no reason. Just because we’re not going to keep living together doesn’t mean we can’t keep doing… whatever it is we’re doing. But for once I want him to chase me. I want him to make the first move and tell me he wants to keep… fucking? What exactly are we doing? It’s definitely more than that, right?
When Dash gets back into the truck with the supplies, we still don’t talk. It’s the first time I realize that whether we forge something or we don’t, it will be painful to be with a man like this. I want the flowers. But I don’t want to have to ask him to buy them.
ChapterTwenty-Seven
DASH
Later that afternoon,I go into Colt’s office without knocking and throw myself on the couch opposite his desk.
He closes his laptop. “I was just about to leave… Eve and Sam want to see theBarbiemovie tonight, and they need time to transform me into Ken.”
Now would be a great time to heckle Colt, but I’m not in the mood.
“All I want to know was when that apartment is done?”
Colt narrows his eyes and watches me as he bends down to switch the power to his monitor off. “You’re still moving out?”
“Yeah.”
He swipes a hand down his stubble. “It seemed like things were going well with Molly, that’s all.”
They were. Too well. I’ve always known we’d need to detach from each other. I just didn’t know the time would come quite so soon. “So when is it done?”
“Wait. You and Molly haven’t been hooking up?” he asks.
Leave it to Colt to be in your face. All that fucking therapy has made him so direct. He’s so well adjusted.Asshole.At least Jolie left wiggle roomimplyingMolly and I were dating. Colt puts me on the spot so there’s no escape.
