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She shrugged when I cocked an eyebrow at her.
“The doc’s hot as hell,” she said. “And I’m pretty sure Brute wouldn’t have any problem with it.” She glanced over at Brute as if for confirmation.
It was his turn to shrug. “If you feel the need to engage in a little girl-on-girl action, darling, be my guest.”
She looked back to me. “So, what’s it going to be,amico?It sounds like one of us is going to show her a good time tonight. Up to you which of us it’s going to be.”
Chapter Forty
Heidi
Just breathe,I told myself for the umpteenth time.
I’d treated dire injuries, saved lives, even stood toe to toe with killers. What came next was nothing in comparison.
I’d nearly had myself convinced too, until Amadeo’s bedroom door opened and he walked in. He was covered in blood, so much that his shirt stuck to his torso, molding to his chest. His blond hair was slick and red, and blood was smeared on his face. And his hands… there was no flesh. Only blood.
He looked at me—but not into my eyes—and he didn’t speak a word. He looked and then he looked away, and then he crossed the room and disappeared into the en suite without a word, shutting the door hard enough behind him that I heard the slam.
Well, that was enough of that.
I stood up from where I sat perched on the edge of his bed and followed the path he’d taken, following the bloody footprints he’d left across the rug.
The en suite door wasn’t locked; the handle turned easily beneath my hand. And thank heaven for that. I hadn’t the skill to pick the lock, nor was I entirely certain of the strength it would require to break down the door.
Inside, he had his back to me as he adjusted the shower faucet, and though I hadn’t any doubt he’d heard me come in, he did nothing to acknowledge my presence.
“Turn around,” I said, quite pleased with the Ice Queen I could feel alive and cold in my veins.
He turned slowly, still dripping with blood. In the confines of the en suite, the metallic scent was overwhelming. He stood up straighter, then stood still like he was allowing me to look my fill, to take in the man who was more blood than man at the moment.
“I don’t know what it is you’re trying to do,” I said, “but it won’t work.”
He cocked one eyebrow like he highly doubted it.
Well, this was it. I was either right, and my world wouldn’t crumble tonight. Or I was wrong, and it would.
“I couldn’t understand what you were feeling tonight, why it seemed you’d built up this wall between us. But then I thought about what it feels like to lose a patient, that helplessness, that bitter guilt that eats at my insides no matter how hard I worked to save them.”
I paused, hoping the cold stone expression he wore would miraculously fall away and prove me right.
But it remained firmly in place.
“You saved my life tonight, Amadeo. You didn’t lose me; you saved me. I’m sorry you were forced to feel that helplessness, but whatever this is between us, I believe it is stronger than that feeling, is it not?”
He didn’t speak. His chest rose and fell a little harder than usual, but nothing about his countenance gave him away. And then a crack formed, just a single crack like before, and I caught a glimpse of the hurt and anger that lay beneath.
“It’s love,perla.That’s what I feel; that’s what this is between us. And it scares the hell out of me because what I felt tonight was the worst fucking thing I’d ever experienced in my life. I don’t know if I could survive it if it happened again.”
I shook my head. “You don’t let fear or anything else stop you, remember?”
His lips twitched in a ghost of a smile.
“I never intended for this to happen,” he said. He wasn’t talking about what had taken tonight but about us, about what had developed between us in such a short amount of time. “I never wanted it. I still don’t.”
I shrugged and then took a step toward him. “Neither do I,” I admitted. “The only people I’ve ever loved, I lost; they all died right in front of me, Amadeo. And the life you live…” I shook my head as emotion tried to well up in the back of my throat. “…I don’t know if I could survive it if it happened again,” I reiterated his words back to him.
But here was the kicker, here was what perhaps made me the most foolish woman in the world: “But I’m willing to risk it, Amadeo.”
