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“Did you know?” I ask Luca, interrupting whatever he was saying as the weight of the truth becomes too much to withstand.
“Know what?” His head cocks to the side, eyes pinched in the corners.
I glance at the doctor, unsure if I should reveal such a secret with an audience. Luca seems to catch on, though.
“Leave us alone,” he says. “She’s handling this better than before.”
A little surprisingly, Dr. Thomson exits the room without another word.
When the door clicks closed, Luca cups my cheek. “Did I know what, Raven?”
“That Titan is my father?” I purposefully say it bluntly because I need to be certain of Luca’s answer. I need to feel confident that he didn’t know this whole time and hadn’t been using me as Titan wanted me to believe.
His answer is immediate and almost disgusted. “No. How is that even possible?”
“Well, when two people have sex—”
He cuts me off, clearly not amused by my need for a little humor. “Not what I meant, Raven.”
I try to shrug, but the action hurts too much to complete. “I’m well aware, but I don’t have an answer for you. He left me and Mom years ago without a word. My mother had her secrets, and she always held out hope that he’d return, but I never understood and can’t exactly ask her now.”
Luca’s entire demeanor softens. “I know and I’m sorry for that, but I’m even more sorry that son of a bitch is your father.”
“You and me both.” I frown. “Am I terrible for wishing him dead?”
His eyes move over my body, and his chest practically rumbles. “After what he did to you, no. Which is good, because he’s going to die, regardless of what you want. The moment he let someone put a hand on you, he signed his death sentence.”
As heartbroken as I now remember being that my own father had not only allowed me to be physically harmed, but beat on me himself, no amount of wishing for different circumstances can change the reality.
My father needs to die. Not only for what he’s done, but for what he may do in the future. I have no clue what kind of shady shit he’s into, and I don’t really care to know at this point, but I can’t imagine it’s any good.
Luca leans closer and presses his forehead to mine as he breathes me in. “I thought I was never going to see you again.”
I tense for a moment, wondering how many people he killed in the process of trying to find me, then I realize that the number doesn’t really matter to me. Not now. Not when I’ve been attacked twice and know this world is more fucked up than most people can comprehend. If Luca wants to go around killing those who hurt other people, me included, then he has my blessing. Hell, I’m feeling a little murder-y myself.
Those thoughts are quickly dashed away as his lips brush against my cheek. “I thought I would never get to smell you again.”
His voice is gravelly and intoxicating, and I suddenly can’t move a single muscle for fear that any action on my part will break whatever magic is happening right now.
Luca’s gaze meets mine, and it’s as if his eyes can see straight into my soul right now. “I thought I would never get the chance to properly taste you.” His nose brushes against mine as he briefly closes his eyes. “I lost control withoutyou.”
He’d told me before that he wouldn’t kiss me because he didn’t want to “lose control.” Had I been disappointed to hear that? Absolutely. Had I realized his childhood was a lot more fucked up than mine and he could have his weird quirks without judgement from me? Also, yes.
Yet, his confession ignites a spark of courage within me. This man, who has fought against his own demons, deserves to be free from the constraints he's placed upon himself. With my heart racing, I offer a small smile, a silent invitation.
As if understanding my unspoken request, Luca's gaze darkens, his yearning laid bare. The weight of his emotions, the wildness within him, all converge as his lips draw nearer to mine. In this fragile moment, the way my heart feels as if it’s about to beat right out of my chest, I’m certain that regardless of my broken state, everything is about to change for the better. I’m certain that barriers are breaking down, that Luca is so close to allowing himself to fully embrace this connection.
I surrender to my growing emotions, hoping that Luca can do the same, to know that granting himself this chance at happiness is not a betrayal of his prior convictions, but a triumph over them. As our breaths mingle, I wait for him to make the move, to accept that letting me in fully won’t be the end of his world because he needs this more than me.
This is Luca’s moment, and I’ll wait right here as long as he needs me to.
9
LUCA
Seeing Olivia open her eyes and being able to hold her again was everything I’d been hoping for since I realized she was gone. But hearing her speak, watching the emotions cross over her face the moment she started to remember what happened to her, and then hearing that Titan is her father… It's all too much to contain. The tight grip I've clung to, concealing my emotions, shatters as if fragile glass.
In this moment, I want nothing more than to kiss her, to hold her close, and to vow to shield her from a world that's harmed her more than enough, especially by the man who's passed on being her parent. Pressing my forehead to hers, I acknowledge that I can't keep my emotions locked away any longer. I’m losing control over the tight hold I’ve kept on them. The chains I’ve secured around my heart over the years have slowly been loosening in Olivia’s presence. Each millimeter of restraint gone is replaced with how deeply I’ve grown to care for this woman.
