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Now his wet nose is touching my nose. He sniffs again.
“Scary,” I whisper.
He looks into my eyes, and I shut mine because I’m thinking… don’t make direct eye contact!
A loud, deep bark shakes me to my core.
I jolt in absolute fear and my deepest instinct is to call upon magic to save me. But I can’t, can I?
Will this be how it ends? All this time, all of this, and Riley’s wolf just gets rid of me? Rips my throat apart like that other guy?
I whimper. “I’m sorry. I’m sorrysorrysorry. Please don’t kill me.”
He barks again.
I open my eyes and he’s still almost nose to nose with me.
God, he’s huge.
He leans back slowly, not far, but a few inches from my face, and then a giant pink tongue swipes up my cheek. I freeze.
He licked me!
He drops on top of me, and I hear a strange thumping sound. His tail? His tail is wagging!
He’s like a giant, gorgeous, chocolate brown wolf puppy that’s full of happiness.
Nothing like what I saw the other night.
“Holy smokes,” I whisper.
He barks again, doing a little pouncing action with his paws on either side of me. Kind of a… let’s play motion.
I choke on laughter.
“Hi,” I say.
He barks again and pounces again a little, making the bed shake.
“Oh my God. You’re not gonna kill me. Are you?” He very slowly tilts his head to the side as if to say I’m completely off-side, and then barks again, which is scary as shit, but he’s not aggressive. Not at all.
He’s so big, and soft-looking and… happy-looking that I give into the urge to pet him. I tentatively reach up and he sniffs my hand, then licks it, so I touch his mane and give him a little scratch.
“You’re so soft.”
He doggy-smiles at me and then pants.
Wow.
I have both hands up now, scratching him under his ears. He flops off me, to the side, and shows me his belly.
I laugh and reach over and start to scratch. He jiggles around on his back, loving the scratching. His right leg then starts to jerk, like I’ve found a ticklish spot.
“You’re absolutely fucking adorable, you know that?” I say, scratching harder. “And I thought I was strictly a cat person.”
He barks loud, startling me so badly, I fall off the bed and land hard on my ass.
“Ouch.”
His head pops over and his eyes are on me, looking excited.
“You understand me, don’t you?” I ask as I rise to my feet.
I’m standing! On my own feet.
Phew. Weird.
He gives a soft little ruff.
“I thought wolf shifter people and their animal counterparts weren’t two separate personalities,” I say thoughtfully. “That doesn’t seem to be the case here, does it?”
He puts his chin down and sighs.
The playful pup look is gone and replaced by a different expression.
“Because Riley’s not right, right now, is he?”
The wolf stays still but his eyes look up at me and he sighs again.
“Yeah. I’m so sorry about that,” I say, tears springing up in my eyes. “It’s my fault.”
He stretches and licks my hand.
My chin trembles.
I lean forward and wrap my arms around his neck and cry for a minute, sitting down beside him. It feels good not to be attached to Riley. My body feels really strange, though. My vagina feels utterly foreign to me.
The wolf stays put while I cry, hugging him, then finally he licks my jaw.
“I have to tinkle now. Finally,” I say, wiping my eyes.
He follows me to the bathroom.
“Wow, my legs are like jelly,” I mutter. They’re sore and numb and just feel… strange after not being used for almost forty-eight hours. “Wait here, okay?”
He sits just outside the door.
While closing the bathroom door softly, I say, “I’ll just be a minute.”
I catch my reflection in the mirror. I look pale. Shocked. I am shocked.
“You’re a good boy, aren’t you?” I call out and hear his tail thumping in response.
I lift the length of my dress and sit down on the toilet. After peeing for what feels like an eternity, I finish up, get up and look in the mirror again. I’ve often had trouble looking at my reflection for the past seven years. Will I ever feel better about looking into my own eyes again?
I blow out a breath as I wash my hands and then wash my face.
When I open the door, the wolf stands by the front door.
“Do you need to go out?” I ask.
He lets out a soft ruff.
I open the front door and follow him out.
Fresh, rainy air. Oh yes… it feels good. The world feels vibrant even though it’s gray right now with the rain. I taste raindrops on my tongue and there’s something new to it. Something… odd.
Something tingles in me, maybe just a reaction to finally being able to stand, but I feel very, very alive. Very aware.
