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I head out the back door and into the garden. It’s not long before Callia joins me. Our usual meetin’ point is right here, under one of the biggest trees that shades the flowerbeds.
“Did ye get what ye needed?” she asks me in that fairy-like tone.
Her voice is melodic. It’s a gentle breeze that sweeps through me, both warmin’ me and coolin’ me at the same time. Some would say we’re made fer each other. But I don’t believe in that fate shite. It’s all bollocks.
“Aye,” I answer, but I don’t look at her.
I can’t bear ta see those eyes as they peek into my darkened soul. I loved hurtin’ Bragan. I enjoyed watchin’ him suffer. There was a satisfaction runnin’ through my veins I’ve never felt doin’ anythin’ else.
I’ve always been convinced that nothin’ matches the feelin’ I experience from violence, not even sex. The euphoria that comes from knowin’ I’m holdin’ someone’s life in my hands is a high nothin’ else has come close to before. But I know if I were ta take Callia ta bed I would feel the exact same bliss, maybe even more.
“Are ye goin’ta be okay now?”
I finally turn to Callia. Her question hangs in the air between us. I want ta say yes, but I don’t know if I will. I know she wants ta know if I can move on, and maybe she’s even wonderin’ if I’ll take a chance at a relationship with her.
Could I?
I’ve always come up with reasons or excuses not to, but now I’ve none. She was too young when she first arrived here, but she’s twenty-three now. She was broken and needed ta heal, and she has. I was hell-bent on the revenge I craved fer my da, but I’ve got that now. There’s no longer any reason fer me ta push her away. But fer some reason, I’m still holdin’ back.
“I can’t say if I will,” I give her an honest answer. “There’s a lot of things goin’ through my mind right now, shinin’ star,” I tell her. “Give it time.”
I see the hurt in her eyes. The moment when her heart cracks from hearin’ the truth. I’ve done this to her so many times, yet she still wants me. It makes no sense.
But then again, ye can’t choose who ye love.
SIX
CALLIA
Since I first met Rebel, there’s never been a moment when I haven’t thought about him. When he’s near me, I stare at him, my eyes followin’ his every move. Even now, as I play outside with the kids, I’m thinkin’ about him.
I know my father deserves everything he gets. There’s nothin’ anyone can do now ta stop the inevitable. Rebel needs ta know I don’t blame him fer anythin’. Thankfully, they haven’t asked me about the time I spent with Bragan. It was brief, but it was enough fer me to know he’s not a good man.
I haven’t even told Miren about what happened. She was the reason I went to him. I needed ta keep her safe, and I made the choice ta go. He made sure I’ll never forget him or forgive him. One day, I’m goin’ta have ta tell Rebel about it, and I think that day may be comin’ soon.
I push ta my feet and follow him out into the garden where he lights up one of his smokes. Since the first moment I slid onto the back of his bike and inhaled his scent of leather and tobacco, I’ve become addicted to his scent.
“I don’t blame ye, Rebel,” I tell him once he’s inhaled a lungful of smoke. “When I went with Bragan ta keep Miren safe, I wanted ta learn all I could about him, and I did. He’s a hateful, violent man, not someone I can proudly call Da. He needs ta pay fer what he’s done.”
Rebel’s leanin’ his head against the wall, and the way his shoulders lower as I speak, I realise he’s been waitin’ on me ta say somethin’.
“He does.” Rebel’s voice is low. “I was so angry at ye fer goin’ with him. I wanted ta keep ye safe, and when that was taken out of my hands, out of my control, it felt like I’d lost my mind.”
The smoke rings he’s blowin’ float up towards the sky before slowly dissipatin’ into nothin’, and then it’s just us. He lowers those eyes that hold a million secrets and looks directly into mine.
I take a chance and step up ta him. We’re so close, I can practically taste the smoke on his breath. He’s different ta the rest of the brothers here. There’s a gentleness to him. But then again, I’ve seen the way Monster treats Miren; he’s sweet, lovin’, and kind when it comes to his woman.
Although Rebel’s rugged, he’s a gentleman when he speaks to any of the women. He’s been like that since the first time I watched him with the old ladies who live at the clubhouse. Even with the women who work at the club.
