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I nodded, and trusted that he knew Coach well enough that he was right. But my stomach twisted into a knot. It wasn’t very often I crossed the morally gray line of lies and deceit. It reminded me too much of my mother. She was a manipulator, and I vowed never to be like her.
Not even for a “good cause.”
“Keep my jersey,” Rhys smiled as I started to take it off. “Number seventeen looks good on you.”
I nodded but took it off anyway. My head was somewhere else, hoping and praying I wasn't gradually turning into my mother. It was a fear that sometimes manifested in me when I least expected; and it was on the brink of taking over. I knew it was irrational, and unwarranted, but it wasn’t like I had control of my triggers.
Suddenly, the room started to spin and I grabbed onto my stomach. It had been a long time since my last panic attack, but I was mixing my unsure feelings for Rhys with lying to my coach. Add in a dash of overthinking about my mom, and I didn’t stand a chance.
ChapterFourteen
Rhys
The pictures were supposed to be funny, and we had fun taking them. But I didn't want that to be the end of our day. I wanted to show Ash the stadium, and let her see behind the curtain of the MLS.
“Let me give you the tour. We can even grab lunch at the cafe upstairs. It's open for the staff, and everybody that works here throughout the day. They have an awesome pastrami sandwich.”
“Actually, Rhys, I just want to go home and lay down. I’m not feeling too well.”
Her face was pale, and she was shaking a little. “You need me to—”
“Just take me home,” she snapped, cutting me off.
“Whoa, okay. I’ll take you home.” She was more than ill, she was angry, but I had no idea what had changed, or what had upset her. “But can you tell me what just happened?”
“Nothing happened,” she sighed, before mumbling, “And maybe we need to keep it that way,” as she turned away from me.
Was she talking about the fact that we almost kissed? Because I was still thinking that was a good idea.
Maybe I was wrong.
Space. We needed space. Taking her home, letting her rest her ankle, and giving her space was a good idea. Space provided perspective, and I needed to remember all the reasons I told myself about why kissing Ash was a bad idea.
Because at that moment in time, I couldn’t think of any of them.
“Let’s go then.” I flipped my keys in my hand, then motioned for her to lead the way. She wasted no time grabbing her bag and shuffling ahead of me to her escape. There was still a slight limp in her stride, but she had been right about it being a small sprain. Heat and ice tonight would have her back in shape as early as tomorrow.
On the ride back, the windows were down and reggaeton was blasting through the speakers. It was my only hope of distraction–for myself. The music seemed to be lightening her mood as well. Her fingers were tapping to the music and there was a slight sway in her shoulders. Her mouth moved to the lyrics, words spoken in Spanish that I had no idea how to translate, but a beat so sexy that it was one of my favorite songs. Watching her love something I loved, and reacting to it the way I did, was making me feel less and less like I should drop her off and let her be.
It’s a bad idea,I repeated in my head.
When I pulled up to her apartment, and the music stopped, she closed off again and barely looked at me. Without a word she climbed out of the car, managing a short look back at me before unlocking her door. I rendered her a small salute as a goodbye, then hit the gas and sped off, wasting no time creating more distance between us.
My head was all over the place. I hated driving away when she didn’t feel well. It went against every instinct in my body.
By the time I got halfway home, my phone started ringing over Bluetooth, making my music stop. I grabbed my phone and looked at the caller ID before answering, hoping it was her and prepared to do a U-turn in the middle of traffic to get back to her if she needed me.
Cruz.
“Already miss me?” I answered with a laugh and a hint of disappointment.
“Something like that.” I could hear laughter in his tone as well. “You alone?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Because holy shit, Ash is fucking gorgeous.”
What the fuck did he think he was doing? Did he seriously want to play rough? Because after the shift in Ash and barely saying goodbye to her, I was primed for a fight.
