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I need time, though.
I can’t start ministering to her alone in my office until this lust starts to lose its potency, which given my old habits and need for novelty, will probably be any day.
Until then, I need to keep my distance from her as much as I can. She’s a sharp, watchful girl. Socially intuitive. I can’t give her the opportunity to pick up on the direction of my thoughts, not if I want her to feel comfortable opening up to me.
There’s a vacant office at the other end of the church. Sure, it might seem odd to put my personal assistant that far away from me, but I can give Mariana research-related tasks. It’s the perfect solution.
She’ll get the internship she needs for her resume, and I’ll have the space to let whatever this is fade. I won’t be constantly surrounded by her dancing eyes and naughty smile.
Fuck. I don’t like thinking of her this way.
I’m startled when my receptionist, Harper, peeks into my office and smiles. “Mari just arrived.”
I nod. “Send her in.”
A moment later, Mariana steps inside my office, and my gut clenches. Her hair is swept up, revealing her swanlike neck. She’s wearing a formfitting skirt that hugs the flare of her hips and those toned thighs.
I’ve seen her in tight clothes before, damn it. I’ve seen her in a bikini. Why is my body reacting this way now?
“I have some things for you to fill out before you get started,” I say, hating how husky my voice sounds.
She smiles as she walks over to my desk, stopping only a few feet away. She smells so damn good.
Why have I never noticed the way she smells before?
“Since it’s a volunteer position,” I say, “there isn’t a whole lot to fill out. Just this form right here, and then—” I flip the page over “—sign and date on the back.”
“Got it.” She smiles as she grabs the paper from my hand. She glances at the two couches at the front of my office, and it’s only when she perches her hip on the edge of my desk that I realize my mistake.
Damn it. I forgot to get her a clipboard, so now she’s forced to stay at my desk to sign the papers. She’s so fucking close. I can almost feel the heat radiating from her body.
“I have to go check on something,” I say. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
She frowns before nodding, and I rush out of the office, my heart pounding in my chest. When I make it outside, I run my cold hands over my hot face.
What is wrong with me? This is Mariana. I’m around her all the time. I’ve never been this aware of her before today.
I’m psyching myself out. That’s what this is. I’m not used to thinking about her this way, and it’s making me self-conscious when I shouldn’t be. It’s not like I’m going to lose control and maul her, pin her up against my bookshelf and pound myself inside her.
Fuck. Now I’m picturing it.
After a few minutes, I muster up the courage to walk back into the office. I clear my throat. “I have an office set up for you. Right this way.”
Mariana follows me through the hallway, and her scent washes over me yet again.
I wish I had never made that celibacy vow. Why couldn’t I have promised God I’d be celibate for a year? That would have been plenty of time to focus on my new role as a pastor. There was no need to wait until I find the woman I want to marry, especially when that might never happen for all I know.
I need a woman soon. A woman who’s not Mariana to purge me of these unwanted thoughts.
Maybe I need to spend some time in prayer about what I should do about that celibacy vow.
“Where is this office?” Mariana asks, her voice full of surprise.
It must seem odd to her that I’m putting her, my temporary personal assistant, this far away from me.
“It’s our old media coordinator’s office, and it’s one of the biggest in the building.” It’s not a lie, but I wish I could have said it with more conviction.
“Here it is,” I say, gesturing through the doorway. Mariana walks inside and looks around the area.
