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It feels like death.
After walking into the restaurant, I immediately spot her. Her hair is styled in loose waves. Her pale-pink dress makes her brown skin glow.
After taking a deep breath, I stride over to her, clutching my hands behind my back to hide the way they shake.
“Mariana,” I say, my voice steadier than I feel. She looks up, her brown eyes meeting mine. “I just want you to know that you don’t have to listen to my apology if you don’t want to hear it. This isn’t about me, and I’m sorry for pestering you with my texts.”
There, I said it. I brace myself for her reaction, something that indicates this moment means as much to her as it does to me. But what I get instead knocks the breath out of me.
“Okay,” she says, a neutral expression on her face. With that, she turns away from me.
“Okay?” I mutter, unable to help myself.
She smiles tightly before walking away, and a pang of loss grips my chest so tightly it’s hard to take a breath. How could the most beautiful relationship of my life end with a little “okay?”
A tap on my shoulder pulls me out of my head. I turn and find Sofia standing there, a soft smile on her face. The sight of her is bittersweet, a stark reminder of the moment my life imploded.
“You look handsome in your suit.”
I smile, shaking my head. “I’m overdressed. I had no idea it would be this casual.”
She shrugs one shoulder. “You’re the pastor. In this crowd, you’re a celebrity. You should be more dressed up than everyone else.” Her smile fades. “Can we…sit together at dinner tonight? I’d be more comfortable.” She twirls a finger around a strand of her long hair. “And I promise my dad won’t make it weird.”
Warmth spreads through me. It’s comforting to have a friend in the Hernandez family.
“Of course.” I smile. “I understand.”
A loud peal of laughter sends a rolling shiver down my spine.
Mariana.
Fuck, I love that sound. She laughs with so much abandon when she’s with people who let her be her bold self. She laughed like that with me sometimes.
Now, she’s laughing that way with Zac.
Oh Christ, am I going to have to watch them like this all night? Will I be sitting impotently with Sofia watching him fondle Mariana?
This is what it really means to be unselfish. This is what it means to show her that I love her enough to put her needs above my own.
I still want to rage against God. I want to throw her over my shoulder and take her somewhere far away from here.
I want to keep her there. Forever.
But I can’t.
I have to let her roam free.
Mariana
My heart is light, and my skin is warm and tingly. The champagne has been flowing all night, I’ve been a bit of a lush.
Oops.
It makes it so much easier to be around Brandon. I love Livvy too much to let my heartbreak ruin her wedding weekend. If I have to be a lush to get through tonight, so be it. Livvy doesn’t mind.
Beside me, Zac is laughing at something Cole just said. He’s been hanging all over me all night, which he tends to do when he’s buzzed. I usually nip it in the bud, but not tonight.
I’m making progress. I’m actually having fun tonight. My shattered heart is somehow as light as a million dandelion seeds drifting through the air, and I refuse to let Brandon bring me back to reality.
