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Nolan rolls his eyes. “They’d never let me do that.”
Mariana shrugs. “Our parents make us do a lot of boring things when we’re teenagers.”
“Yeah, but this is different.”
“How is it different?”
He raises both hands in the air. “It’s fucked up to teach kids if they don’t believe a certain thing, they’re going to hell. And yet almost every single person in my life thinks it’s totally normal. I watch this philosopher guy on YouTube, and he thinks it’s child abuse. Literally.”
Mariana nods slowly. “I probably would have agreed with him years ago, but not anymore. Part of my journey was realizing that my parents are flawed, and they only forced these things on me out of fear. Because they love me so much. And ultimately, it’s not that big of a deal to me—”
“If they really loved you, they’d accept you for who you are.”
Mariana blinks once. She lifts a hand and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, and there’s a sudden spark in her eyes. “Wow, you really got to the heart of it.” Her voice is hushed.
Nolan narrows his eyes. “Yeah. It’s fucked up.”
“It is.” She sighs, sounding so melancholy I want to take her into my arms.
I can’t let this go on any longer. Not when it’s making her sad, and I’m the one who instigated it.
“So where do you want to go from here, Nolan?” I ask to redirect the conversation. “Do you want your parents to give you answers? Do you want me to give you answers, even when you know they probably won’t satisfy you?”
Nolan’s expression is so thoughtful and somber, I can hardly even call to mind that cocky smirk I know was there only minutes ago.
“I guess not,” he says.
“What do you want?”
He shrugs. “I want to quit going to church, and I want my mom and dad to be okay with it.”
“Do you want me to have your mom come in here?”
He’s quiet for a moment. “Yeah, I guess.”
I shoot Mariana a look, and she smiles warmly before standing up. “I’ll go get her.”
Something loosens in my chest. She’s so good at this. I love the way she read my intentions from the moment she walked into this office, like there’s an invisible connection between us.
This is a sign.
We already have some kind of spiritual connection I can’t quite articulate. Something I felt from my first real conversation with her.
This is why God called me to help her. My lust is a distraction, sure, but not one I can’t overcome.
ChapterNine
Mariana
“Would you mind talking to me about why you took an internship at a church when you don’t believe?” Brandon asks in a soft, melodic voice.
I lower my eyes to my plate to hide my disappointment. I should have known the only reason he invited me to dinner after work was to minister to me. It was too much to hope that he’s starting to see me as a friend.
Or a potential lover.
Fuck, I’m so dumb. Even if he weren’t celibate, he’d have no interest in me. I’m a child in his eyes. This attraction is one-sided.
Besides, if he doesn’t even want Sofia—the objectively better-looking daughter—there’s no way in hell he’s thought twice about me. I was only imagining that he wanted to kiss me yesterday.
