Page 37 of Lust


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“It’s not though. You can speak her language. She looks up to you.”

And I want to fuck her.

The words echo in my head, as clear as the word of God.

It’s a warning.

Self-recrimination squeezes my chest like a fist. I don’t believe that God is telling Hector that I’ll be the one to bring Mariana to Christ, but I do believe God is sending me a message through him.

Crossing this line will be an abuse of power.

I can’t ever touch her again. Not when she looks up to me as a mentor. It’s reprehensible.

“I’ll keep talking to her.” My voice is barely above a whisper. “But that’s all I can promise.”

“That’s all I’d ever expect of you.” His smile grows so affectionate, my chest squeezes with guilt.

Mariana

My head pounds. It turns out I have a real headache. A punishment for faking one, I guess.

The front door bursts open, and Sofia’s beaming face comes into view. “Guess what?” she squeals as she sets her purse on the couch.

I clench my facial muscles to keep from grimacing. “What?”

“Brandon asked me to be his date for Livvy’s wedding!”

Her words are like ice through my veins, and it’s so silly. Here I am suddenly wanting Brandon to stay away from her—my beloved sister—when their relationship couldn’t be anything but good for her. It might even mendmyrelationship with her, since it would help her forget about Finn.

What is wrong with me?

I force a smile. “That’s awesome.”

“I’ll be sitting at his table,” she continues, bouncing on her toes. “Can you imagine what Finn will think?”

My stomach plummets to the floor. “So you’re using Brandon? That’s fucked up.”

She halts, turning to me with wrath in her eyes. “How dare you say something like that.”

Heat creeps into my cheeks. She doesn’t realize what she’s doing. I know this. Finn’s betrayal has pulled her into a deep, dark hole. She can’t see anything but her own pain.

I sigh. “Why do you still care what Finn thinks?”

She crosses her arms over her chest. “I’m not letting Brandon court me just to make Finn jealous. I know that’s what you think.”

It is what I think, but I can’t tell her that.

“I know you aren’t, but why are you… Why make Livvy’s wedding all about Finn?”

She flutters her eyelids dramatically. “How would you feel if you were forced to spend hours at a wedding of all places with your ex-fiancé who dumped you for the woman he got pregnant?”

I let out a long sigh. “Livvy said she would have her dad ask him not to come. She never would have even invited him if you hadn’t given her the okay.”

Sofia grimaces. “I’m not going to be the reason Livvy excludes hercousinand his wife from her wedding. It’s embarrassing. I don’t want him thinking he still gets to me.”

I raise both hands in the air. “But hedoesstill get to you!”

Her jaw tightens as she walks into the kitchen. Oh fuck, no.

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