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“I can do that for you,” she eventually says. “We could have had a lot of fun. It’s a bummer you had to take me on as your intern.”
With that, she walks out of the bathroom and quietly shuts the metal door behind her, and I want to weep.
ChapterFifteen
Brandon
Sofia smiles sweetly at me from across the table and my chest constricts like a vise. I texted her as soon as I left the church last night, asking her to meet up for coffee. Her enthusiastic response made me feel like an asshole.
I devoured her sister in the bathroom of the church, and she doesn’t have the slightest clue.
Fuck, what if Hector found out? He’d never speak to me again. I’d never be included as an honorary family member again. No more Sunday barbeques or praying at the Thanksgiving meal or being called “Uncle Brandon” by his grandchildren. I’d be cut out from the haven I found after all the warmth seemed to leave the world with my mother.
I’d lose everything.
I clear my throat. “I have something to tell you.”
Her eyes widen before lowering to her lap. “This doesn’t sound good.”
The dejection in her voice makes me want to reach out and grab her hand. “Sofia, I’m so sorry. I never should have started something with you when I’ve been struggling with… Having my own struggles. It isn’t the right time.”
She licks her lips. “What do you mean?”
I let out a long sigh. “I’ve been having some internal struggles. Struggles with sin if I’m being completely honest. It wouldn’t be fair to you to start something now.”
“We all struggle with sin. Anyone who says they don’t is a liar.”
“I agree with that, but this particular sin…” I shake my head. “If you knew what it was, I’m not sure if you would be so forgiving.”
Those clear brown eyes meet mine. “Try me.”
There’s a challenge in those eyes, and it’s as clear and sparkling as the water glass in my hand.
If you’re going to dump me, at least have the decency to tell me the truth.
I ought to be as honest with her as I can, leaving Mariana out of it, of course. It’s a pastor’s duty to show his humanity when appropriate. The fact that I’m terrified of Hector finding out only reinforces that it’s the right thing to do. It’s time to stop being selfish.
This is about Sofia, not Hector.
I shut my eyes and let out a heavy breath. “I’ve been struggling with lust lately…”
“Oh.” Her eyes grow wide before lowering to her lap. “Do you mean…” She licks her lips. “Did you maybe watch something...”
Her cheeks darken, and my chest sinks. She thinks I watched porn. She thinks I would break up with her over something so trifling, because the people who raised her wouldn’t find it trifling at all. Hector and Ana are staunchly anti-porn and believe that even one viewing is the equivalent of infidelity.
Fuck. They would loathe me if they knew what I really did.
“No,” I say. “It’s worse than that. I… I messed around with a woman.”
Her head jerks up, those big eyes of hers widening. It would be so much worse if she knew it was Mariana. That the woman who consumes my thoughts at all hours of the day is her sister.
“Is she someone you have feelings for?” she asks.
“No.” The word comes out too quickly to sound sincere even to my own ears. “It’s only lust. She’s not someone I’d ever want to be in a relationship with.”
Sofia lets out a breath, her features softening. “I see. So she’s kind of…easy.”
The word steals the breath from my lungs.Easy. It’s such an ugly word to describe a woman like Mariana. Such an ugly word in general, as if a woman’s worth is determined by how difficult she is for a man to acquire.
