AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Well, this is going to shit right quick!He found it easiest to be angry with Jax, because why would he think Noah had been doing drugs as well? Heknewhim. Heknewhe’d never even triedweed, for cryingout loud!
“I didn’t say that.” Jax’s response was so calm, it was almost bored. That pissed Noah off even more and he was about to get off the stool and walk out when Jax added, “And it doesn’t answer my question. Are you gonna try and pretend that it’s not a reasonable question to ask after years of no communication between us? You’re the one who admitted to knowing he was impaired. I wouldn’t have known if you hadn’t told me, and this whole thread of conversation would not havehappened.”
Reasonable as fuck. “No, Professor Knox, I was not high. Nor was I drunk. I’d only had a couple of beers…” He stopped himself from reminding Jax that he was a lightweight when it came to alcohol because why go there? Enough with the TMI!
“So why did you willingly get into a car withthis guy?”
“I didn’t know he was impaired until it was too late to get out of the car. I don’t even thinkherealized how bad he was. And then it was too late after that to get him to pull over. It was his car, anyway, so I’d need his permission todrive it.”
Silence fell between them, and Noah drained the beer in his glass and ordered a second. Memories of that night ripped through him, and his hand shook as he poured from the second bottle that the bartender slid across the counter to him. Memories of the way Brad had begun to slur his words, the way he’d laughed maniacally as the car slid across the icy pavement before coming to a crashing halt against the guard rail, crowded in.
Noah had let himself be picked up by the handsome guy who had been coming onto him from the moment he’d cozied up to the bar a half hour before they left. The other guys had encouraged him to let loose … they’d just come off a whirlwind six-month tour, and he needed to blow off steam. Instead, he had ruined the rest of his life. He couldn’t even find it in himself to be angry with Brad, because on top of what he’d been using, someone had slippedhimsomething earlier, but he’d not begun to feel the effects of the cocktail of drugs until it was too latefor them.
What would Jax say if he knew the rest of the story of that night? That the cops had suspected Noah of being the one who had roofied Brad? That he hadn’t been sent to the hospital until his story could be verified, and that Brad hadn’t regained consciousness for almost a whole day? His friends had had to come down to the police station to corroborate his story, and the bartender had also been questioned. The humiliation of that whole night, in addition to the pain he’d suffered had been, and still was, more than he could bear.
“I just wanted a break. It had been more than a year since…”No more TMI, remember?“Anyway, I was ready to let loose a little, to have some fun after the tour ended. I should have known better, but it wasn’t like he reeked of weed or anything, and he’d only had a couple of beers when he sat down next to me. There was no wayto know.”
“So why do you feel so guiltyabout it?”
Jax’s question made Noah look him in the eye for the first time since they’d started the interrogation, as he was feeling it.
“I don’t.” But he was lying, and he knew it. As far as he was concerned, it washisfault for not being more observant, for being so needy for human touch, for intimacy, that he’d been about to break one of his cardinal rules … no sex with strangers. And that the stranger had come there with someone else who had roofied him before he found Noah was all kinds of sick, because it meant that he’d been headed to bed with a guy who picked up sex partners like clothes picked up lint.
“You do, Noah. But even if you could have made better choices back then, the accident was not your fault.”
The fries were cold by this point, but Noah didn’t care. He needed the carbs and the fat to help him process the alcohol because now that he was remembering, there was no way he could handle the grief without more mind-numbing drinks. Jax would see to it that he got home without mishap.
“I’m sorry that happened to you, Noah. And I hope you’ll tellyour dad.”
Noah wouldn’t have a choice when his father came up in a week, but he wasn’t ready to face that reality just yet. Time to get the conversation onto a different track.
Chapter 7
Noah
Who was he and what had he done with thereal Noah?
“So what have you been doing since we lost touch? I know you sometimes worked with orchestras during the summer.” Noah knew that Jax had had a full life before they’d met and had maintained it after their relationship fell apart.
Jax nodded, not calling him out on the sudden and drastic subject change. “That’s mostly what I did. A couple of them in London andSalzburg.”
“So you’re slumming this summer?” He took a big swallow and waited.
Jax laughed. “I’m taking a summer off because I’m moving. Have to find a place to live and get set up with the new routines. So, in another couple of weeks, I’m off to check outhousing.”
“Sounds like fun,” Noah said sarcastically.
“You have no idea.” Jax ignored his tone. “It’s nice to just be able to relax for a change. Riverdale may not be a big city school, but they have a busy program and I’m going to have to keep up once I getstarted.”
The thread of excitement in Jax’s tone filled Noah with an unwilling envy. He wanted to be excited about something, as well. He wanted new adventures too, but nothing could ever make him feel the thrill of performance again.
“Lenny, hit me up again, please.”
Noah set his jaw when Jax looked over at him, ready to defend his decision to drink a third beer. He was a grown man, and he could drink as much as he wanted. He didn’t need anyone’s permission, and especially not the man who ten years ago had given up the right to have any say in how he lived his life. He felt raw and exposed. Beer would help drown that feeling. Bracing himself, he waited for Jax to speak and then felt irrationally irritated when all the other man did was to ask for an orderof wings.
Noah noted that he only ordered water this time.Good for you, Mr. Control.He let the snark out in his head, reluctant to start a fight even though he was beyond keyed up. This was how he’d been feeling that night, and Brad had stroked his ego with the flattering words that’d had him sliding off the stool at the bar and heading out the door to a vastly different future than the one he’d envisioned.
That’s not gonna happen tonight.Jax wasn’t hitting on him, and even if he wished he would, Noah knew he wasn’t quite ready to forgive Jax for wrenching them apart. And until he could do that, he knew he wasn’t ready to sleep with him. Such irony … the man he’d been head over heels for, the man he still wanted, had less chance of getting into his pants than a stranger high on drugs had done. Who was he and what had he done with thereal Noah?
