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“Damn! That’s a long time, my friend. I’m taking it that your feelings haven’t changed? I mean, based on all that heat that I saw, I’m guessing theyhaven’t.”
Jim was way too smart for Jax’s liking, but it was still a kind of relief to let go of the burden of his feelings for a moment, to let someone else share in them, someone who could understand the weight that love could carry, the strain that it could bring to bear on a heart.
“It doesn’t matter, does it?” A vise gripped his heart at those words, squeezing tightly, leaving only pain and regret.
“Why? Are you afraid he’s not where you are after a decade? Because I’m here to tell you, you’re probably wrong about that.” Jim raised a hand to stop Jax before he could disagree. “You weren’t watching the two of you. I was, and I know what I saw, buddy. That man is as hung up on you as you are on him. Yeah, there’s some anger in there that I won’t pretend to understand, but there’s also longing. I could see it in those few moments when he let himself relax and look at you, when he felt safe that you wouldn’t notice.”
“It doesn’t matter, Jim. He’s dealing with some stuff that will make anything he might be feeling for me pale into insignificance. It’s not my story to tell, but trust me, it’s big enough that even if you’re right, he’s not in the right headspace to deal with me. And by the time he gets his act together, he’ll probably see I’m not really who he needs anyway.”
More pain swelled inside him, a tsunami of emotion rolling over his bruised heart. It had been a long time since he had allowed himself to think about Noah, and he had thought he’d be over the self-administered wound by this point. Rehashing the story with Jim had provenhim wrong.
“Now why would you say a thing like that?” Jim wondered aloud. “What makes you think you’re not whohe needs?”
“Jim, I’m eleven years older than him.” The protest was ashes in his mouth. “And a forty-something guy is a lot less of a catch than a thirty-something guy.”
Jim burst out laughing, spewing beer everywhere. When he was finally able to get himself back under control, he turned amused eyes to Jax, a grin still prominent on his face, and said,“Boy, I can see I have my work cut out for me.”
Jax eyed him suspiciously. “What are you talking about?”
“Well,” he pointed the beer bottle at Jax. “First, we have to get rid of that negativity that you’ve got going on there, and then we’re going to work on getting you two back together. Starting with dinner.”
“Dinner?”
The word erupted as an inelegant and not even the slightest bit masculine squeak. Jax retrieved his beer, needing something to help him swallow the panic that flared at the idea of doing anything to get Noah back. He had buried all that ten years ago. He couldn’t reopen old wounds, even if he thought there might be a sliver of a chance that things could go well. Because there was more than a sliver of a chance that they could go horribly wrong, and he wasn’t going there. He couldn’t bear that particular heartbreak a second time, and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Noah by anything he did.
“Jim, I’d rather you not do anything at all okay? Let sleeping dogs lie and all that. We’re fine, or we will be. It’ll just take a bit to get comfortable around each other again.”
Sharper words never crossed his lips, leaving their stinging marks in his throat. He swallowed the last of the beer, needing to soothe the ache and push the feelings back down where theybelonged.
“What could be easier for a first date than dinner at our place with Annie and the kids, man?”
“Annie doesn’t need to be on her feet making dinner for a houseful of guests. She’s about ready to drop that baby and needs her rest.”
Jax wasn’t above using his friend’s wife as an escape route. As far as he was concerned, Jim’s suggestion just had bad idea written all over it.
Jim’s laughter rang out again in the back yard. “You think you’re slick, don’t you? Who said anything about Annie cooking? We can make a great meal, and all she’ll have to do is guide us from herlounger.”
“I’d just rather not rush into anything, Jim, if you don’t mind. I’d prefer for him to make the next move. I took him out for drinks last night. Now it’s his turn to reciprocate. Why don’t we see what he does before you go off half-cocked making wedding plans?”
He tried to inject some humor because he didn’t want his friend to lose patience with him. Thankfully, Jim seemed to consider his response seriously before nodding. “Okay, fair enough. We’ll wait, but not longer than a few days. You’ll be gone before you know it, and nothing can begin if one of you doesn’t make the next move.”
Relief swept over him, slowing his heart rate, and Jax nodded.“Thanks.”
Jim did put his arm around him in a one-armed hug this time. “Don’t thank me yet, J. Wait until you’ve bagged him first.”
His wink was a wicked tease, but it did its job. Jax chuckled and relaxed. He had a reprieve before he’d have to think of new excuses. In the meantime, he could laugh with his best friend.
Chapter 9
Noah
Noah wasn’t sure he knew how to
do this with Jax anymore.
“You did well today, Missy.”
Noah smiled at Melissa Farley as she packed up her violin. She was a shy little thing, but her violin skills were stellar for someone her age. He could see her making it in the competitive world of music performance if she could get past her almost painful need to beinvisible.
