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“Have you thought any more about the contest I suggested?”
Noah already knew the answer,but he felt it was important for him to keep pushing it because it would be a shame to lose the talent of this one child to baseless fear of failure or to timidity. The contest wouldn’t be for another eight months, but he thought it best to introduce the idea earlier rather than later, so she’d have time to think it through. She would be such a gift tothe world.
“My mom says I get to decide.” Her voice was stubbornly quiet in the stillness of his living room. “I want to wait until my dad comes back.”
Her father was in the military and was apparently a highly decorated soldier. Noah had never met him, but the way Missy talked about him, Noah figured out really quickly that she adored her father. Maybe he could get her dad to convince her that she could do anything, if he came home before the deadline for applying to the competition passed. He didn’t even know if the man was due home or not, and he wasn’t about to stir up a hornet’s nestby asking.
“Okay.”
He smiled as she went to stand by the window to look out for her mother. Once the lesson was over, she was always in a hurry to leave. After the mother and daughter left, Noah tidied up the area and went in search of dinner. His dad had texted him to say he’d be home in another couple of days, and though Noah couldn’t wait to see him again, he dreaded having to tell him his news. He couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing his father, who had stayed the course with him from the time his mom died when he was a baby. How had he managed for so long without a lover? Noah couldn’t remember his dad ever being with anyone, though he realized that it wasn’t something he would have thought about anyway unless it happened. Could Noah do that?
Jax sprang to his mind unerringly. He had lived without Noah for over a decade. Maybe it was something older guys could do? He sighed as he walked into the kitchen to rustle up something for dinner. He had lived without Jax for a long time as well, so he knew it was doable. Not acceptable at all, but doable.
Thinking about Jax made him realize that he hadn’t made any effort to continue the plan to rekindle their friendship. Getting a little sloshed the other night hadn’t helped, he was sure. What must Jax think of him? A man over thirty who couldn’t hold a few beers … ridiculous! Jax already knew that, though, because Noah had gotten more than a little tipsy on the night before his twenty-first birthday when Jax had invited him over for a celebratory dinner. They’d decided that he should go to the frat party that his friends had planned for his birthday on the actual date. The less attention they called to themselves, the better.
Not that any of their caution had stopped Jax from calling a halt to their affair. Six months in, and one close call spelled the end of any need to hide. And after eleven years, Noah wasn’t sure he knew how to do this with Jax anymore. He wasn’t trying to seduce him, like he had been doing in college. All he wanted—this was his story, and he was sticking to it—was to regain a friendly footing with the man. If they were going to be in the same state, and close enough to drive to each other if they so chose, it was better to not be on the outs, right?
“What do you think,Klinger?”
He turned to look at his dog, who opened one eye, looked him over, then closed it again, ignoring him. Maybe he could have Jax over for dinner when his dad got home. That would be a nice surprise for his father, and Noah could hope it would give him things to think about other than when his son was going back on tour. The more he could do to delay breaking the bad news to his father, the happier he’d be.
So, dinner on Friday. Alvaro Santiago liked it when his son cooked, and Noah knew just what would make him happiest. His dad loved traditional Mexican food. As he checked his pantry to see what he would need to buy the next day when he went grocery shopping, memories of spending time with his dad in the kitchen brought a smile to his cheeks. Deciding that the easiest things would be foods they could eat with their fingers—the boys would love that—he made a list for ceviche, tacos, and guacamole, as well as chips for the dips, and ice cream fordessert.
He finally texted Jax when he was getting ready for bed. As before, it took him a minute to decide what to say.
[Noah: Hi. Can you find out if your friend and his family would like to come over for dinner on Friday? My dad’s coming back that day, and I think he’d enjoy somecompany.]
An answer came immediately.
[Prof: Only Jim and his family areinvited?]
Fuck you, Prof!Noah chuckled, despite himself. Why was Jax being all cute and teasing him right now? They didn’t have that kind of relationship anymore. His foolish heart fluttered against his ribcage, but he ignored it, choosing to focus on how to answer. He could flirt too, if he could just think of the cool thing to say.You’re not a teenager anymore, for fuck’s sake, No!Internally berating himself, he replied.
[Noah: I wouldn’t know them if it weren’t for you, so what do you think?]
[Prof: I didn’t want to assume. You know what they say about that, and I’m not trying to make an ass of myself.]
Somewhere in that response Noah could almost hear the unspoken fear of rejection. He got it. He had lived with rejection for over ten years. He could keep stringing this out, making Jax feel more anxiety before letting him off the hook, or he could act his age and clarify his meaning. He really needed to let go of the impulse to hurt Jax after all this time. It was pointless, especially if they were going to be friends goingforward.
[Noah: Yes, you are definitely alsoinvited.]
[Prof: Good to know. Not sure I would know what to do with myself all alone here on a Fridayevening.]
Noah could think of something Jax could do all alone on any evening, not just Fridays.And that right there is why you can’t get a date these days, No!Apparently reuniting with Jax had also reawakened every juvenile impulse he had managed to outgrow in that summer after their breakup, if he thought self-pleasure was any way for a grown man to spend anevening.
“Just me and my trusty left hand,” he intoned aloud, self-mocking in a voice like the guy selling super glue on TV, gripping his half-hard cock through his sweats.
Pitiful! How lame was that, getting hard over thinking about jerking off to the idea of his ex-lover pleasuring himself alone in his room? He dragged his hand away, inhaling sharply to cool the fever he’d started with his randy thoughts. Time to end this conversation.
[Noah: I’ll see you on Friday, then.]
[Prof: Can’t wait,Noah! ;)]
Noah observed the wink at the end with greedy delight, his skin prickling with anticipatory excitement. He hadn’t been this keyed up about anything apart from music in more years than he could count. Even the odd hookup had not had him feeling such a complicated cocktail of emotions … delight and dread, anticipation and anxiety, arousal and annoyance. What the hell was Jax doing to him? And how had he missed the memo that said this is how he’d be reacting after so many years apart?
Supermarket shopping the next day added another layer of stress to Noah’s shoulders because it seemed like the rest of the population, or at least the ones he bumped into in the store, all now knew that Alvaro was on his way home and had something to sayabout it.
“I’ll bet you’ve missed your old man, Noah. I know he misses you when you’re notaround.”
