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“How are you feeling, Si?” Maddie asks warily, waiting for me to break down.
“I mean, I made it out of my room, so I guess that’s progress.” I sigh, staring into my coffee.
“Have you thought about what you are going to do?” she questions,
“About?”
“The baby, are you keeping it? Are you telling Keller?”
Bile rises straight up my throat and into my mouth.
“Of course, I’m keeping it. And no, Keller doesn’t need to know. I can’t have him walking out on our child, too. I know how that fucks a kid up firsthand.”
“Okay. Well you have a check-up next week. Hopefully soon we will get to see the little bean on the screen!”
Her excitement makes me smile. I guess it’s going to be small steps to recovery. I just don’t know how my heart will ever heal from this.
“David asked if he could pop over to see you later. Is that okay?”
No not really, I don’t want to see anyone.
“I guess so,” I force out.
“Okay, I’ll text him now. It might be nice for you to have your friends around you. We all want to help you, Si.”
All I can do is nod in response.
A few hours later David appears, dashing over to the sofa and smothering me in a hug.
“I’m so happy to see you. I’ve missed you, Baby Girl.” he says, giving me his best grin.
“I’ve missed you too,” I lie. I can’t miss anyone. I can’t feel anything.
He plonks down on the couch between me and Maddie and snakes his arm around me, pulling me into his side.
Just like Keller used to do.
Its all too much, the room starts to spin and all the air is being sucked out of my lungs.
I can’t fucking do this anymore.
“Get out.”
“What? What’s the matter, talk to me Baby.”
Baby.
I jump out of his embrace, to my feet, staring at him, as hurt flashes across his features.That one word is enough to push me over the edge. Rage burns through me as I hear Keller’s voice in my head.
“I said get out!”.” I scream as I fall to my knees, fighting for breath.
“Shhh, Sienna. I’ve got you,” Maddie whispers.
“I can’t do this Maddie. I can’t live like this.”
She walks me back to my room and helps me get into bed, tucking me in and turning out the lights.
“Just get some rest. I’ll come in to check on you soon.”
