Page 30 of Survive for Me


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“Not that I don’t enjoy your weird company, Utah, but if we’re really leaving tomorrow, I’m calling it a night.”

“Can’t imagine I’m any weirder than anybody else here,” he said and chuckled. He stood from his lounge chair as I got up from mine to walk back into the house with me. Indy and Memphis hadn’t moved at all. They were still sitting shoulder-to-shoulder at the island in the kitchen, both typing away on their own computers. I paused when I heard the door lock behind me and turned back to watch Utah pull on it a couple times like he needed to triple check that it wouldn’t open.

“I guess we know who the group’s daddy is,” I said and couldn’t help but laugh.

“Please call him that in front of Jersey,” Memphis said quickly. “Like the very first chance that you get. Get it on camera and I will give you any dollar amount that you can come up with.”

“He really is going to hate everything about you,” I added looking at Utah again. “That’s going to be the world’s worst trip from Philly to get back here. And that’s saying something because my first road trip with the man was a doozy.”

Memphis laughed. “She kicked him in the dick to get away from him the first time. And that’s not even close to the worst of it.”

“He asked me out to dinner just to kidnap me,” I countered. “He had that coming.”

“I will be needing every single detail of all these stories,” Indy said. “Right down to the dirty ones.”

I found myself smiling. Genuinely smiling, and something that could only resemble happiness washed right over my entire body just by being in this house with this strange set of people.

“You have any idea how uncomfortable you make people when you say things like that?” Utah asked Indy.

“I think he’s hilarious. You’re the only one he’s making uncomfortable, Daddy Utah,” Memphis said and winked at Indy. Utah choked on nothing. Again.

“Awe,” I said and slapped him on the shoulder. “Daddy Utah is terribly uncomfortable now. And I don’t think it has anything to do with Indy.”

“Sorry,” Memphis added. “I’ll stick with calling you Little Light. That one sit better?”

“Please don’t start singing,” Indy said instantly.

“Shut the fuck up. Do you really sing it?” I asked Utah. “Does he?” I asked Indy.

“Really?” Memphis asked. “I kind of thought that was a joke too?”

“Christ,” Utah interrupted. “I’m going to bed. You assholes better not sit out here and talk about me when I’m not even here to defend myself.”

“To be fair, you’re really not defending yourself so well even while you’re here, Little Light,” Memphis said.

“You all suck,” Utah said and headed for the hallway. I hurried right after him.

“Just tell her,” I whispered.

“Tell her what?”

“That you think she’s hot. What could you lose? We’re leaving tomorrow. Why not go for it?”

“I’m not here for Memphis,” he said and laughed.

“Since you brought it up, why are you here?” I asked.

He stopped right where he was to look back at me. It was the most unpleasant I’d ever seen his face look. Not that he looked angry, just like he’d pulled down some weird emotionless mask. The same kind that Jersey wore. I shook my head.

“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to —.”

“Good night, Trista,” he interrupted. He turned around and disappeared around the corner, headed for the stairs.

“I wasn’t trying to upset you,” I whispered to the hallway.

My mind didn’t stay on Utah much longer though. I was terrified of letting myself believe that I would really see Jersey again sometime in the next few days. There was still a chance that I’d never see him again. There was a damn good possibility that I wouldn’t actually live any longer than the next few days myself.

I tried to keep that thought planted firmly in my brain to stay grounded in the reality of what this was. But those thoughts still never stood even a hint of a chance against the excitement that was building about maybe seeing Jersey again soon. I felt ridiculous about it. He was an absolute asshole and probably just a little bit of a psychopath. He was mean and he was confusing. He was somehow emotionless and had emotional bouts that were impossible to understand. Everything I did seemed to piss him off; just like everything he did made me want to slap him.

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