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I was still scared. God, I was still terrified. But I had made my mind up and decided I was going to keep this kid and do everything I could to give it the life it deserved. I wished my mom was here to help me through this. I was sure she would have had something smart to say, something that would have cut straight to the core of what I was feeling. Maybe she had even felt similar doubts when she had first found out she was pregnant with my brother.
I felt tears prick my eyes as it hit me that she would never be able to meet her grandchild. Neither she nor Dad could hold it in their arms, be there for it, spoil it the way grandparents were supposed to. I bit down on my lip hard, trying to keep the tears from falling. I couldn’t let this turn into a pity party. I would have time to feel all my emotions further down the line once I had worked out what I was going to do next. Even though this might have felt impossible right now, even though it seemed as though the walls were closing in around me, I had made my choice.
And nothing was going to sway me from my path.
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Sixteen Scott
"And you’re sure about this?” Dalton asked me, raising his eyebrows, giving me another chance to back out. I nodded.
"Certain," I replied. "I want to invest in this community center."
"As a front for something else, or...?" My accountant asked me, clearly baffled by this whole interaction. When I’d asked him to meet me this morning, I doubted he had expected it to go like this.
"No," I replied. "Because I want to help them. They need it. I was looking into their work this morning, what they do—you know how many kids they help a year? I want them to be able to double it."
He stared at me for a long moment, then shook his head and shrugged.
"Whatever you say," he muttered, pulling out a notepad and starting to jot some stuff down. I leaned back in my seat, feeling a wash of contentment pass through me. Yes, this might not have been how I expected to be spending the day, but I knew it was what I wanted.
I had been thinking non-stop about what Thea had said to me the other night when we had been at the bar together. About how much change I could make in this city if I just played my cards right and did the right thing. I had never really thought of myself as an arbitrator of positive change in this place—well, unless you counted helping out guys like me in the bank account department, of course.
But I had gone looking into some of the causes she had mentioned to me, and I’d been struck by how hard they worked, how much time they spent with their noses to the grindstone to make what they wanted to happen, happen. I was sure my father would have called it a waste of time to dedicate that much energy to people who would never be able to give it back, but I could see how passionate they were, and how much they meant it.
And I wanted to help them. I did. Not everyone had had the same opportunities I’d had over the course of my life, but they all deserved the same boost up the ladder I had been given. People shouldn’t have to scrap and grind just to make enough money to feed their families. I started doing some calculations, working out how I could help out, and how much difference I could make in the way of donations.
It felt exciting in a way I hadn’t experienced for a long time in this business. All of it had just been standard to me for so long I had forgotten what it felt like to have that injection of invigoration, that feeling like you were really making a difference and doing something that mattered. It was never something my father would have even thought about, and yeah, part of me felt guilty for doing something I knew he would never have been able to get on board with—but maybe it was time for a change. Time to shift things up.
"And I’ve been thinking," I continued, musing out loud to Dalton. "I want to move some of the assets to a more...legitimate location. Find some businesses to invest in. Not in protection money. Just to give them a boost."
Dalton was staring at me like I had lost my damn mind, and I couldn’t blame him. This was about as far removed from the man he’d known his whole professional career as possible. He had worked with my family for nearly a decade now, the only guy who could handle the stress of moving our money around, but this was a complete change of pace from what he was used to.
I wanted to do this, though. I was sure of it. I wanted to turn this business into something I could actually be proud of—something I could be honest about. And I knew the only way to do that was to start moving things around, shifting towards a more legitimate enterprise. I had the money to invest in a dozen different businesses, and I could have lifted them out of financial trouble in the process.
"Where has all this come from, Scott?” Dalton asked me. He seemed utterly confused by it. I wasn’t sure if I could put it all into words for him, as easily as all that, but maybe it would do me good to try and get it out there.
"I’ve just been thinking a lot about the legacy I’m going to be leaving behind, you know, when I’m gone," I replied. He raised his eyebrows at me.
"That seems needlessly morbid."
"Maybe it is," I agreed. "But I honestly don’t think I can keep pretending I’m happy just walking in my father’s footsteps. He left so much behind for me, set up so much for me, but I know he wouldn’t want me just going along with everything he wanted for the sake of it. No, he’s always wanted better for me. He’s always wanted me to be able to do what I want. And this, right now—this is what I want."
"You sure you’re not going to change your mind?" He asked. "Because this is the kind of thing that would seriously harm your reputation if you walked it back..."
"I’m sure," I replied simply. I had spent a hell of a long time turning this all over inside my head, and I was already certain I had made the right call. I needed to change something, shift some of the ground out from underneath me, and try something new. No matter how hard it seemed, no matter how much it scared me, this was the best thing I could do for myself.
And for Thea. But I wasn’t about to blurt that out to Dalton right now.
"Shit, well, if you’re certain," he replied, raising his eyebrows and shaking his head. He knew better than to argue with me. He had worked with me and my dad for long enough to know that when we got an idea in our heads, we weren’t going to be easily swayed from it.
"Thank you," I replied, nodding. "Let me know when the donations have gone through."
"No problem," he replied. "And I’ll pass on a list of businesses that might be good candidates for your investments. And what about...?”
He trailed off, and I knew at once what was on his mind—what were we going to do about the people we had worked with? The underground crew, those on the wrong side of the law?
"We’ll pay them what it takes to cut ties," I replied, nodding with certainty. "Make sure there’s no bad blood there—I don’t want them turning up to cause me trouble down the line. Got it?”
