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“No,” he said. “It wouldn’t be right to tie her down to a man who has episodes and relives battles. And our children? What if I hurt one of them or frightened them?”
Reaching out she took his hand. “Luis, if Stacy is the right woman for you, if she loves you, none of that will matter. She’ll do her best to protect you. She’ll make certain that your children understand. Honestly, I think if she loves you, she’ll cure you of the past. I have nothing to prove that. But I truly believe that love heals a person. And you, dear son, deserve to be healed.”
Astonished, he stared at his mother. Was she right? Would love heal him of these nightmares?
“Think of it this way. What if you didn’t take a chance with Stacy? What if you let her go back to New York and never saw her again? Will you always wonder if she was the one who could have made you whole?”
With a sigh, he shook his head. “You didn’t let me get to the part where I was stupid.”
Her brows rose. “What did you do?”
“I told her I was going to get a vasectomy so that I could never get a woman pregnant,” he said.
Shaking her head, his mother sighed. “That was stupid. And how did she react?”
“She got mad,” he said. “But I only wanted to protect her and any children we ever had from them seeing me act like a crazy man.”
“You are not crazy, but I’m on her side. I’d have been mad as well. Most women want children and grandchildren. They want a family line. Their husband’s child. What did she say?”
“She wants a big family,” he said, not wanting to tell his mother what her father had done. That was not his place.
“Are you going to do it?”
“I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose Stacy and this would end it between us. I know for certain, she would not accept me if I had a vasectomy.”
“And how did Trevor feel?”
He didn’t know how to react to Trevor. They had been friends for so long and had planned on sharing a woman between them.
“He was frustrated. He said he wanted us to share a wife and family and my plan would not work for him or our wife.”
She gave him the motherly look that said you’redoing this all wrong.
“But, Mom, I’m damaged goods.”
“No, son, you’re not. You wanted kids at one time.”
“Yes,” he said.
“If you didn’t have this problem, would you still want children?”
He thought for a moment. “Yes.”
His mother leaned back. “That tells me that if you were cured or healed or had fewer episodes, you’d want a family. What if you did the vasectomy and then you were cured? Think of what you would have missed out on.”
He sat there silent for a moment thinking of a little boy who looked like him and a girl who looked like Stacy. If he was cured, he would want that and Trevor’s children as well.
“This is your decision, son, but I think you know the answer. And I think you better get back over to your house before Stacy gives up on you. If I were her, I’d already have my bags packed and I’d be leaving. Not having children would be a deal breaker for me and I’d go home.”
Terror struck his chest. No, she wasn’t leaving until Saturday. They had tomorrow still. They had time to talk about this and maybe even work things out. And he wanted to make things work with Stacy.
Hell, he didn’t want her to leave.
An urgency filled him. Standing, he leaned down and hugged his mother.
“Thanks, Mom,” he said. “I better get back to the ranch.”
“Remember, son, love heals and you deserve just as much happiness as you can stand. Tell Stacy we said hello.”
