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Walking out to his truck, he tried to call Trevor. The man didn’t answer.
CHAPTER11
Standing in the shower, she let the tears run down her face. The condom tear was ripping them apart and exposing the weakness in her dreams of being in a relationship with them. It had been her dream to have children. A family of her own and with Luis’s announcement this morning, the ugliness of her past had reared its head.
Her father’s actions had hurt more than just her mother. He’d also kept her from having siblings to share her life with, to grow up with.
Why was it that when she found the two men she was falling in love with there was another problem?
Oh, she’d come close a couple of times to falling in love with other men, but they always had some terrible flaw.
Well, this morning, she’d found the flaw in this relationship. And it hurt so much, she didn’t think she could continue.
But these two were so special, and when she learned that Luis was getting a vasectomy, the past slammed into her. Why her mother never married after her father’s death, she didn’t understand. She and her mother were alone in this world and when others were gathering for the holidays, they stayed home.
She had found two men she loved, but they didn’t want the same things in life that she insisted on. And after being a lonely, only child, she wanted a family with lots of little ones running from room to room.
Maybe it was time to load up the car and leave. Maybe it was time to return to New York and nurse her broken heart.
It had been so wonderful, so much fun, and she enjoyed every minute of how they’d made love to her. They had planned on a week with no commitments, but sometime during this time, she’d begun to care. Sometime during the week, her heart became committed and yet they were still only thinking six days.
Now gazing at them, she knew they were who she wanted, and yet she still couldn’t have them.
She loved Luis for being such a big strong man who made certain she was well taken care of. The way he was serious and yet comforting and gentle. And she loved Trevor for being the family man who wanted the best for his brothers and sisters, and how he made her laugh and was such a smart man who made her think in ways she’d never considered.
They were the perfect combination except Luis didn’t want children.
Having a family had been her dream for years. And no, she couldn’t give it up.
She wanted to birth a child, watch them grow up and help them make the right choices in life. If she had to do it alone, she would. And if she were pregnant, she would never tell Luis. It would be her secret.
Stepping out of the shower, she dried her tears. It was time to leave. This week had been fun, but now she couldn’t look at them with her heart involved and knowing they didn’t want the same things she wanted in life.
Heartbreak was inevitable and it was better to leave now before they saw her pain.
She removed the final butt plug, realizing they would never fulfill her dream of them both taking her at the same time. That was something she’d just have to fantasize about.
Time to go home. Back to New York City and the job she abhorred. Back to the life of working nine to five. Back to looking for a man who would fulfill her desires and also give her the life she dreamed of.
Quickly she dressed and packed her suitcase.
The house was quiet. When she glanced out the window, she saw that Luis’s truck was gone. Maybe he’d already gotten his appointment and was scheduled to receive his snip and tuck. But she didn’t want to know.
Where was Trevor?
After she had packed everything, she wrote a note to them so they wouldn’t come searching for her. It was past time to leave. It was time to sever all communication and go back to her real life.
As she wrote the note, her tears flowed, and she knew this was going to be a long, sad trip. She’d thought there might be a chance for the three of them to settle down and create the family she longed for.
But that was just a dream. A dream she had to get over. A dream she should never have considered.
Laying the note on the desk, she picked up her suitcase and purse and headed down the stairs, hoping that she would not run into either of them. It would be better to leave without having to face them because she knew she would cry.
When she reached her car, she stopped and gazed out at the ranch. It was such a beautiful piece of property. A little piece of Texas that she’d grown to love. But it wasn’t meant for her.
Her happiness did not exist here and it was time to go back to the city.
Climbing into the car, she pushed the button to start the engine and then she backed out, hoping she wasn’t making the biggest mistake of her life leaving a piece of her heart right here at the ranch with these two wonderful cowboys. Two wonderful men, who couldn’t give her what she wanted. A family.
