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When I had almost laid everything out there for her, the look in her eyes had my chest tightening. I could see the confusion and hurt on her face. She didn’t deserve that.
She was barely six then, and from what I remembered at the hospital, she had no idea what had happened. But still, I could not separate her from the blame of the night. She had been there and survived—the same way I had. But it had been her fault. At least, that was how my brain viewed it.
“You look like shit,” Xander said from beside me as we walked to our cars. “You need to get some rest.”
“No shit.” I hadn’t gotten a lick of sleep yesterday, which was never good on a 24-hour call, but shit happened. “Where are you off to? Meeting another escapade of yours?”
“Nope. I’m meeting Selena at a café up the street. She’s trying to convince me that vegan life is the way.”
“Wait, Selena? As in Amelia’s crazy best friend?”
Xander smirked. “That is the one. The girl has a mouth on her, but damn, I love it.”
“You are trying to hit that?”
“Yes,” he shrugged. “I’m always up for the challenge. Besides, after that night at the bar, I need to show her I’m not just a guy who is only into sex.”
“But you are a guy that is only into sex.”
“But does she know that?”
“Yes.” Clearly, he hadn’t been paying attention that day at the bar. “She called you an STD incubator, or did you miss that part?”
“That was a joke.”
I shook my head. My friend was either delusional or just dumb. Possibly a combination of the two. The girl Selena was a firecracker, and she was not to be messed with.
“I don’t think you should mess with her, Xander.”
“Says you.” He scoffed. “Besides, I haven’t done anything with her, and I doubt she will even let me touch her. But I am up for the challenge. If she shoots me down, then she shoots me down. But at least I would have laughed while getting shot down. The girl is funny as shit.”
“You have the strangest taste.”
“I like what I like.”
I walked over to my truck and pulled the handle open.
“Hey, Nate?”
I paused, waiting for him to continue.
“And you be careful.”
I looked at him, confused about what he meant by being careful.
“Amelia,” he explained. “I don’t know what the hell is going on between you or what she did to piss you off, but she is a good person.”
I grunted my response and got into my car. Xander went his own way, heading to his date.
I sat in my car for a while, just thinking over everything.
My head was a cluster of emotions. I wasn’t thinking clearly, and it was starting to seep into other areas where it had no business.
That day when I apologized to her, I had lied. I knew what I was doing when I kissed her. I knew exactly what I was doing. But the problem was that it should have never happened. She was my brother’s ex-girlfriend. A girlfriend I was sure that he was going to get married to.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I dug it out.
“Speak of the devil.” I saw his name flash across my screen and hesitated for a split second. My brother and I were not close, but I loved the guy. He was my flesh and blood. But I couldn’t deal with him being so close to her. But now she was close to me, and I was self-combusting.
