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And that she did. She rode me until she was sweaty and screaming my name while I drilled into her with every ounce of my power.
We were deep within the danger zone now. There was no turning back.
20
NATHANIEL
My days now consisted mainly of sex, work, and downtime with Amelia. The woman had me wrapped around her finger, and I could do nothing to stop her. I could deny her nothing. She had even talked me into a spa day last week so I could ‘rejuvenate’ my skin. I now knew the difference between salicylic acid and BHA serum.
The sex was terrific and electric. But in the moments after the sex had come and gone, as we just lay on the bed in silence, I felt closest to her in those silent moments.
There were layers to this girl that I had not even realized. She was funny but also incredibly intelligent. She had a passion for artistic things and found comfort in creating pieces and bringing them to life through her photography.
I could listen to her speak for hours and never grew tired of hearing her voice. It was the best part of my day. That and sending texts with her back and forth mainly consisted of memes, gifs, bad jokes, and pictures she took throughout the day on her phone.
Christmas was in two days, and my brother had again tried to convince me to come home. I had declined. I was in no mood to play happy family with my father when I knew how he felt about me. Besides, I was going to spend my day with Amelia. Selena and Xander were heading out of town to go and visit their family. We were stuck with one another because Amelia had no family left, and I didn’t want to see mine. I wasn’t complaining.
But as I sat in my truck outside my apartment building, I sat there contemplating if I should make my usual trek up to her apartment, where we would have sex and watch one of the many shows she was trying to get me to love.
I had been sitting here thinking about the last call on my shift. A house had caught fire due to faulty heating. The old home was in flames within seconds. There had been three women trapped inside that house when we got there. A grandmother, a mother, and a little girl about seven years old: we managed to get the grandmother and child out, but the mother had been crushed by falling rubble.
I had to hold that little girl while she screamed for her mother. She had punched and kicked me, trying to run into the flames. She was so hysterical that we had to sedate her to transport her to the hospital. I held that little girl’s hand until she woke up with tears.
Her name was Becca, and they had been baking her mom’s birthday cake.
There were always days when you had hard calls, and today was one of those. We had been taught at the academy to avoid getting too attached to the various cases. And I had been pretty good at brushing off many of the horrors I had seen over the years, but this one hit home for me.
A knock came at my truck window, and I jumped in my seat. Amelia waved with a bright smile on her face and a red nose. When her eyes contacted mine, her smile dropped. She rounded the car and hopped into the passenger seat.
Her sweet scent filled my car, offering some semblance of comfort for me.
“What’s wrong?” She grabbed my hand from across the console.
“Nothing. It's just work.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“I don’t want to dampen your mood. Let's go upstairs.”
She frowned, looking from my face down to our hands. “I do love having sex with you, and I wouldn’t mind having sex with you right now. However, I’d rather hear about why you look so down.”
“Amelia.” This was a heavy topic, and for someone as soft-hearted as Amelia, I didn’t know if she could stand to hear about it.
“Hey, I asked because I want to know. Besides, a problem shared is a problem half solved.”
Although I disagreed with her notion, I did understand it. But I was not used to sharing my feelings with someone. I had become so accustomed to carrying the entire load on my own. “I’m listening, but you must let me in, Nate.”
“I lost someone today.”
In my peripheral vision, I could see her body tense. “I’m sorry. Do you…do you want to talk about it, or do you want to leave it?”
I shrugged. “There isn’t much to say. The mother got trapped under some rubble, and we couldn’t free her. Her daughter had to watch their house go up in flames with her mother still in there.”
She squeezed my hand, trying to offer me what little comfort she could give me. She sat in silence, waiting for me to let it all out.
“Her name is Becca. She’s seven years old, and she was helping her mom make a birthday cake.” The emotion parked right on my heart, crushing it ever so slightly. “They were just having a normal day, and then suddenly, her world flipped upside down. We could have saved her mom if we had arrived two minutes earlier. Maybe I could have saved her.”
I knew that, logically, it was unlikely that we would have been able to do anything for Becca’s mom. But that primary instinct to want to protect everyone always took over. I carried the guilt when I couldn’t fulfill this God-like task. I had failed my mother once before and refused to fail anyone else. But when I couldn’t protect those I loved, I was riddled with guilt and carried that weight.
