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I was not a religious man, not by a long shot. I had given up on God when he took my mother from me. But here I was, begging for Him to spare the life of the woman I loved.
“Wake up, Amelia,” I whispered into the silent room. “Please.”
She was hooked up to an IV, and her vitals were good. The doctor had told me not to worry, but how could I not? The last time I had been in a hospital, it had been with her in similar circumstances. Her on the bed and me in the chair looking at her. But unlike before, I wasn’t asking for a trade. I was begging for mercy.
The door to her room opened, and in walked Xander and Selena. They had been here with me since yesterday and had done their best to keep my calm, but I was on the brink.
The longer she stayed like this, the higher my anxiety rose.
I cared for a few things, but she was at the top of my list. She was my world—my universe. Life didn’t make sense without her, and I couldn’t lose her, unlike how I had lost my mother.
“How is she?” Selena came to the other side of the bed and looked down at her best friend. “There’s more color in her face.”
She was lying. Amelia looked as pale as a ghost. But I knew she was only saying it to help me heal. But I didn’t want false assurances. I just needed her to wake up.
That was it.
“Have you eaten?” Xander came up behind me and placed a wrapped sandwich in front of me. “You won’t be useful to her if you are weak.”
I shook my head. “I’m not hungry.”
“You need to eat,” Xander tried to push me. “Or let’s at least get some air. You’ve been in here for hours.”
I shrugged his hand off my shoulders. “I’m fine.”
“Xander’s right, Nate. You need to take care of yourself to take care of Amelia.”
“Fuck off,” I snapped.
Selena glared at me before she said, “I know you’re a little stressed right now, but you don’t have to be a raging asshole. I’m only trying to help.”
“Help?” I scoffed. “You didn’t tell me she was pregnant.”
“Because she didn’t want me to. Forgive me for honoring my friend’s wishes.”
Both of us were on edge. One of the people we loved most was unresponsive in a hospital bed. It was all a waiting game at this point, and with each hour ticked by, my optimism faded.
“If you had told me—”
“Then what, Nathaniel?” she fired back. “Could you have stopped this? You’re the bloody cause of this whole thing. How can you not see that? She’s pregnant because of you. She was stressed because of you, and now she finds out you were there when her whole world fell apart, and you lied about it. And instead of being nice to her all these years, you took out all your guilt and self-resentment on her knowing damn well she never deserved that!”
“Selena,” Xander tried it interject.
“No, Xander. Someone needs to tell him like it is. What do you think will happen when she wakes up? Do you think that she will welcome you with open arms? Do you think she will forget that you hid this from her? That you played pretend for years? Do you know the toll her mother’s death had on her?”
The silence that passed between us was thick. Not one word was uttered as her words sunk deep into my skin.
She was right.
Every last word she had spoken was nothing but the truth. Amelia was here because of me.
“You have the fucking audacity to tell me to fuck off when you are the main contributor to her pain and turmoil.”
“Selena, enough!” Xander bellowed.
“Don’t.” I looked down at the woman I loved. She looked so peaceful like she was sleeping. Images of that little girl I had saved from the wreckage filled my mind. Her soft whimpers and tear-stained eyes had searched for her mother as I covered the destruction behind me. “She’s right.”
“Nate…”
