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I rubbed my forehead. “Thank you.”
We disconnected the call, and I promised him I’d check in. I set the folder back down and stared at it for a few seconds before opening the fridge.
After making my protein smoothie and leaving the folder right where it was, I ran a hand over my face and walked out through the big glass slider in the middle of the kitchen. I took a seat on a white Adirondack on the back deck.
The water in the backyard didn’t make for a quiet backdrop, not with the warm wind blowing.
But the crashing, ambient sound was pleasant. Soothing.
I closed my eyes and tried to remind myself that this was why I’d worked so hard for so many years.
For a moment like this, to just breathe it all in, even if I didn’t know what was coming next.
That’s when my phone buzzed.
It was still bright enough out that I had to squint to see the screen. On the heels of my call with the lawyer, the sight of Charlotte’s name hit my chest in a slightly different way than a wrecking ball.
Charlotte:Hey, it’s Charlotte.
Me:You found your phone, I see.
Charlotte:It was propped up on one of the wall sconces on the second floor from when I was checking the wiring.
Me:That sounds safe. Please don’t start an electrical fire before I can make sure the homeowner’s insurance is up to date.
Charlotte:You can’t see me, but I’m rolling my eyes. I do know how to unhook a light fixture.
Me:Did you need something?
Charlotte:I’ve got two builders coming for interviews at the end of next week, if you’d like to be here when I meet with them. Assuming, of course, that we still need a builder.
With my head settled against the back of the chair, I stared out at the angry ocean for a solid minute. My gut and my head and my heart warred mightily against each other. My head was shouting numbers and budgets and all sorts of mind-numbing things that would have to be dealt with eventually.
My gut also told me that meeting with builders wouldn’t hurt anything. That this path, longer and harder and capable of causing me an infinite number of gray hairs, was the one I was supposed to take. Whether I wanted to or not.
My heart, though ... it was tired. And sad.
And I knew that it was not supposed to be in the driver’s seat.
Me:Keep the appointments.
Me:They can’t come sooner?
Charlotte:Unfortunately not. I’ve had to start reaching out to contractors from Grand Rapids and Detroit to try and find someone who can handle this level of work. It’s different than a standard renovation.
I closed my eyes again and tried to recapture that warm, peaceful feeling from the moments before my phone buzzed. Just seeing her name elicited a reaction that was uncomfortable.
Charlotte:Did I lose you?
Me:Yes.
Charlotte:I really appreciate how easy you’re making this, and how helpful you’re being. I’m offering you the chance to be involved in deciding who’s going to spearhead the single greatest challenge we have in getting this place to where it can generate income. I thought you’d be interested in that, but maybe I’m wrong.
Me:You’re wrong. I’m interested in finding out exactly how much it’s going to cost, how long it’s going to take, and if we do this—I’m interested in getting started so that it’s over sooner.
Charlotte:K
My jaw clenched again. In the history of digital messaging, no single letter screamed louder than that one. I could practically see the annoyance flash in her eyes.
