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“Thoseareyour kids,” Fen grumbled. “Who took Mia to the ER when she had that bad ear infection? Who ran Cleo’s book report to the school when she left it behind? Who got Jacey pads the first time she got her period? Those are your insecurities talking, babydoll. Dr. McHotstuff wouldn’t have taken you to bed if he felt that way about you, would he?”
I didn’t think so, but I couldn’t say for sure. My head throbbed, and my eyes burned with unshed tears. “Can we change the subject, please? This isn’t helping.”
“What you need is a plan.” Fen crossed her arms defiantly. “A plan to show Dr. Brighton what he’d be missing if he let you go.”
“No. No plans. I’ve had way too much ice cream to think about that right now.” I stretched out my legs over her lap. “Do you mind if I stay here for a bit? Things were tense at the house earlier with me there, and that isn’t good for the kids. It’s probably best if I lie low until Liza, Grant, and I can sort things out.”
Fen pinched my leg. “I thought you were instructed to be home tonight.”
“Yeah.” I gave her a half smile. “But being around that tension’s not great forme, either.”
“In that case, of course you can stay the night.” She patted my foot. “And… look on the bright side,” she said, suddenly smiling widely. “We can dig in and get some work done so we’re ahead of schedule with our classes this semester! That way, when Dr. Brighton calls and tells you to stop being a dumbass—which he will—you won’t have to put him off to work on your project.”
“We can do that,” I agreed.
I did my best to focus on work the rest of the day and tried not to notice when day turned to night. Grant did text and call several times, but I ignored his messages. When I talked to him about what my future with his family would look like, I wanted to be calm and reasonable rather than a torn-up mess. It wasn’t Grant’s fault I’d fallen for him, and I didn’t want him to feel guilty or regret anything that had happened between us.
When my phone buzzed again after midnight, though, an hour after Fen had gone to bed and I’d finally given in to the tears that had been threatening all day, I couldn’t ignore it. Something could have been wrong with one of the girls, or the house, or… or…
“Grant?” I croaked, voice broken from crying. “Is everything okay?”
His voice made the hairs on my skin perk up. “No, everything isnotokay. My husband is missing. My husband, who said he’d come home tonight. Who said he’d text me.”
I could hear the worry and sadness in his voice, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t soothe something inside me to know he missed me, too. “I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your messages. I just wanted to give us all some space—”
“I don’t fucking want space. I wantyou. Here. Now. In our bed.” He took a deep breath. “But if that’s not what you want, Brody… If anything I said or did at any time made you feel obligated to—fuck.”
Him talking aboutourbed squeezed my heart in the best way. I imagined him pulling at his shirt collar in frustration as he grasped for words, and thinking of that familiar gesture made a little seed of happiness bloom in my chest where only doubt and sadness had been before.
“Look, I know Liza showing up unannounced wasn’t ideal,” he went on. “And I’m guessing it brought up a lot of, uh… emotions? Sadness and loss? Thoughts of your parents and brother?”
“Actually… yes,” I managed to whisper. “In a way, it did.”
“Right. Okay. And that’s… that’s why you can’t come home?”
“At least for tonight,” I agreed carefully. “Besides, I have a meeting with Professor Casteel before class in the morning, and you have that patient consult—”
“You promised Cleo you’d come to her robotics thing after school tomorrow,” Grant reminded me. “Will you be there?”
“Of course,” I said without a second thought. “If Cleo wants me to be.”
“She does. And so do I.”
Grant spoke with such conviction I couldn’t doubt it.
He blew out a breath. “Please, Brody, talk to me. Are you okay?” His voice was softer now, more gentle and hesitant. So damned kind.
“Not really,” I said softly, surprising myself with honesty.
“What can I do? How can I fix this?” Grant’s voice sounded stressed. “Send me Fen’s address, and I’ll come get you. I know I’m not anyone’s idea of an emotional support person, but I’d like to try. To… to be there for you.”
I squeezed my eyes closed and wondered how I’d gotten lucky enough to meet someone who cared enough to want to go into battle for me.
“You’re wrong,” I whispered. “No one’s ever been as supportive of me as you have. But I… I don’t think I’m ready to talk tonight. I need rest more than anything, and if we talk, I won’t get any.”
More than that, I was scared of what might come out of my mouth if we talked right now. Scared I’d beg him to love me. Scared I’d do something to run Liza off, which would disappoint the girls. Scared I’d ruin their family dynamics and make the girls question who they should come to with their issues.
The situation was far more complex than a simple question of what I wanted… or what Grant wanted, either.
