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I feel tears gather in my eyes. All of the happy memories from years ago come rushing back. My mom’s laugh, my dad’s booming voice, the way they looked at each other with so much love, and the way they gazed at me so proud and adoring, all of it comes back.
I can feel him watching me quietly. “Happy babe?”
I nod. “How did you…? Thank you, Sawyer.”
He grabs my hand and runs his thumb along my palm. “I got the information for it from your dad. When you were telling me about this place, you lit up and I knew it was a happy place for you. I wanted you to be in that happy place with me.”
A tear falls down my cheek and Sawyer catches it with his thumb. “Baby, I didn’t mean to make you upset.”
“You didn’t. It’s just, it’s so perfect. I love it, and I love you, Sawyer.” I grab the back of his neck and lean forward so that our foreheads touch. “I love you so much.”
He kisses me deeply. “And I love you, Red. Always and forever.” We sit there quietly for a moment and feel the intimacy and love flow between us.
I pull back and reach for the door. “Let’s go see what this place looks like. I also want to see if I can kick your butt in beach volleyball. Family champion against my dad, two summers in a row!”
The day is magical and the house just as I remembered it. I can clearly picture my mom sitting on the front porch sipping her tea and watching the waves crash. This place, the memories, all of it makes me feel closer to her. After a fast-paced game of volleyball that I lose spectacularly, Sawyer grills burgers on the deck and I watch him. I get lost in thoughts of my mom and this place.
“What you thinkin’ about pretty girl?” Sawyer sits down beside me and wraps his arm around my shoulders. I look up at him and give him a gentle kiss.
“Thinking about my mom, and how much she loved it here. How peaceful everything was back then. What she would think of me now.” I can’t help but wonder if she’s looking down, watching me, and helping me get through each day. I’m not highly religious, but this place makes me feel spiritual.
“I think she would be incredibly proud of you. I think she would think that she helped to raise a magnificent, strong woman, who knows exactly who she is.”
I lean my head on his shoulder. “You really think that?”
“Yeah, I really do Red. It’s hard to know who you are at our ages, but you know. You know what you want from the world and how to get it. No one and nothing will ever stop you from accomplishing your dreams.” The way he talks about me makes goosebumps rise on my arm. He sounds in awe, and it’s amazing, because I’m constantly in awe of him. I love him so much in this moment that I want to hold onto it. I close my eyes and sink into his side.
Later that night, after burgers we play an extremely long game of Monopoly. I win after lots of laughs and teasing. I get ready for bed that night in my parent’s old bathroom. We’re sleeping in the master bedroom and I can’t help but be nervous. We’ve been dating for months, but I’m still a virgin. Not really the choice I made. I’ve been ready for awhile, but Sawyer has put me in a constant state of frustration. He keeps saying he wants to make it special. Well, tonight is it. For me, this is my special place and he is the love of my life. I’m ready and if I have to, I’ll jump him.
I look at myself in the mirror of the bathroom. I stand up straight and lean closer, looking at all the freckles and pores. My red hair is extra curly because of the ocean air, and my green eyes sparkle with mischief and happiness. The girl that stares back at me looks excited and ready for anything. I take a deep breath and smooth down my silk nightie. I smile confidently at myself. Get ready, Sawyer, because tonight you’re mine. I can’t help but giggle at that. Poor guy won’t know what hit him. He’s had such restraint the last few months, but I can tell he’s frustrated too. Tonight is the night.
Chapter Fifty-Three
Whenever I look at her, I have to catch my breath a bit. I have no idea whether I will mess this up or not, but I’m sure as hell going to try not to.- Sawyer
Sawyer
I’m nervous as hell. Ronnie has been ready for the last two months to have sex, but I wanted to wait until I could make it special for her. I didn’t want it to be in one of our bedrooms back home, muffling each other so that our parents don’t hear. I want her to be free to scream, because I fully planned on making that happen.
I smile as I finish lighting the candles around the master bedroom. Rose petals are scattered across the floor and light music plays in the background. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. After doing a google search and finding very little on how to make a girl’s first time special, I still hadn’t known what to do for her. So, I gathered up my courage and went to the only father figure in my life-Frank. After giving me a rough time for about ten minutes, he finally gave me some ideas. My favorite line of his…”For God’s sake, take it slow. If you love this girl, don’t go in like a ruttin’ pig. Don’t hurt her. Just be smooth, man.”
Yeah, after that talk and some incredibly cheesy ideas, here I am. If she wants to wait more, we’ll wait. In the past few months, blue balls have become a regular state of being for me, and it’s okay.
I hear Ronnie turn off the light in the bathroom and I tense up. I run my hand through my hair and take a deep breath. Shit, I feel like it’s my first time. My first time wasn’t special at all. It was on the floor of my best friend’s room with his older sister. I was fifteen, she was eighteen. I guess, technically it wasn’t legal but I never felt taken advantage of. Plus, I don’t think she got a whole lot of enjoyment out of it. I lasted about three seconds. Oh shit, that’s another thought. What if I’ve walked around with blue balls for so long that once I finally get inside her, I come in ten seconds like I did when I was fifteen? Nope, you got this man. Just enjoy it.
I hear her clear her throat behind me. I turn around and everything stops. She looks so goddamn beautiful. She’s wearing a short, blue silk nightie that shows off her long legs. Her nipples are hard beneath the thin material and she bounces with each step she takes closer to me.
She stops in front of me. “Is all this for me?” Her voice is full of wonder and happiness and I blink blankly in response. Fuck, I didn’t expect to be struck mute by the sight of her.
“Sawyer, are you okay?” She waves her hand in front of my face and I swallow deeply.
I brush her curls out of her face and pull her close to me. “You are more beautiful than anything I have ever seen in my life.” My voice is hoarse with need and want, and when she looks up at me and smiles, I lean down and take her mouth with mine.
The kiss turns passionate. We’re both more than ready. I pick her up and she wraps her legs around me. I stumble a little because her mouth is still locked on mine, and I hear her giggle as I try to lay her gently on the bed, but end up practically throwing her on it.
I lean over her on the bed. “Oh, you think that’s funny do you?”
She traces my nose with her finger and then slips it down to my lips. I kiss the tip gently. “Yes, I thought it was funny, but right now I’m aching so I’ll won’t laugh anymore. I’m ready to get down to business.” She giggles again.
