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I was getting mad. He was making me look like a fool. I knew he was doing it to make a point, but still.
No, wait.
Doing a quick emotional scan I realized I was already mad.
“Well?” he bit out, leaning in.
I wrapped the strap of my bag over my shoulder and plantedbothmy hands on my hips, a Double Diva Threat.
“That wasn’t fair. You’re Eddie. I wasn’t ready—”
“You aren’t gonna be ready when this shit goes down either.”
I leaned into him too. “I’ve been doing all right so far.”
“You’ve been lucky so far.”
All right, enough.
I threw my hands out, getting nose to nose, and I yelled in his face.
“Yeah? Well, finally! For the first fucking time in my fucking life I’ve been lucky and I’m gonna ride that wave. What I’m not gonna do is fucking sit in a house with the fucking blinds pulled and the fucking doors locked and wait for other people to solve my fucking problems, the whole time scared out of my fucking mind!”
Yeesh.
That was a lot of F-words but the moment warranted it.
“You need to be smart,” he said, not moving out of the space I invaded.
“I need to get control of my life and I’m going to get it and I don’t care how. You might not like it, but that’s the way it is.”
“You put yourself out there, I can’t keep you safe.”
I stared.
Then, I swear I couldn’t help it, I laughed.
And something else I couldn’t help. Since I was so close to Eddie, I leaned into him, and when I did I wrapped my arms around his middle and put my forehead to his chest. It was either that or fall over with the hilarity of it all.
“This shit isn’t fuckin’ funny,” Eddie said to the top of my head. His hands were on his hips, he wasn’t touching me and he wasn’t happy.
I looked up at him, my arms still wrapped around him, my body pressed against his.
“Eddie, don’t you get it?” I asked softly, still smiling. “I’ve never felt safe in my whole life. Never. Until now.”
Something flickered in his eyes but he didn’t move.
I pressed closer and tilted my head back further. “Three months ago, if this happened to me, I’d have sat in a house with the blinds closed, the doors locked and been scared out of my mind.”
He hesitated a moment then I felt his body relax and his hand came up to my jaw, the pad of his thumb against my cheekbone.
“You’re so full of shit,chiquita,” he said quietly, but the scary had gone out of the quiet. He was looking in my eyes, the glitter in his melting and I knew I’d won.
Finally, I’d won an argument with Eddie.
I felt like dancing around.
Instead I gave him a squeeze.
