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Instead, I stood and stared at him.
“I’m gonna sort it out, Princess Jet. I’m workin’ on it,” he told me.
“You aren’t going to sort it out gambling and stealing,” I returned. “Someone shot at me and someone else wants to rape me.”
His lips pressed together then he stated, “That’s not gonna happen, Jet. I’ve got my eye out for Fratelli.”
“Yeah, right,” Lottie mumbled.
I looked over my shoulder at her. She was standing one foot out, arms crossed on her chest, face angry. The rest of the posse stood behind Lottie, their eyes not on Dad, but on me. Tod gave me an encouraging smile and winked.
I looked back to Dad and saw him try his smooth-it-over smile. “You girls gotta give me some time. I’ll hit it big and I’ll take you to the French Riviera.”
Without hesitation, Lottie reminded him, “We’ve heard that before.”
She was right, we had. We’d heard it a lot. I’d just never known what he thought he was going to hit big.
Dad’s face got tight and he threw Lottie an angry look.
“Dad…” I started.
“Give me time!” he yelled and both of us jumped.
Dad was a good ole boy. He didn’t yell. Ever.
“I’ll sort it out,” he went on, his face getting red. “You don’t know. You don’t fuckin’ get it. I’m gonna come back, but only when I hit it big. Only when you girls and Nancy can be proud of me, when we can live large, like you deserve.”
His words hit me like he was pelting me with rocks.
I mean, really, was he crazy? What kind of fucking nonsense was he going on about?
I put both hands on my hips and leaned forward.
“It’s too late! The time to do that was fourteen years ago. You’ve been gone half my life!” I shouted. “We’ve moved on. It’s over! You’ve got to get out of town, Dad, and stay gone. For your own good, but especially for ours.”
He flinched like I’d hit him. “You don’t mean that Princess Jet.”
I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean a word of it. I wanted him to come back. I wanted to live large with Mom and Lottie and Dad all together again.
But that was a dream and I knew dreams didn’t come true.
Dad taught me that.
I didn’t get time to go back on what I said, soften the blow or finish my point.
It was at that moment I found out what war felt like.
* * *
Looking back,it was surprisingly clear, every bit of it.
You would think that in the middle of bedlam you would lose track, but I remembered every moment in a way I knew I’d never forget.
There was the time when it was just me, Dad, Lottie and the gang standing in the smoky room. Shirleen had closed the door on us.
Then the door was opened and Slick was there, Slick and his friends. Slick had apparently gone to ground and gathered reinforcements. Too many, too much for all of us.
He’d also decided that tactically a knife was not the chosen weapon.
