AllFreeNovel
Share Us
* * *
Chicago would have lasted less time than all the rest if Billy had had his way. He was ready to roll after three months. I’d started my own web designing business. Annette had moved up from Indianapolis so I had a readymade friend base and I found a couple of good clients. We’d rented a loft that I loved. I was close to Wrigley Field (what can I say, I’m a Cubs fan) and I was only four hours away from family.
No way was I going anywhere.
So I told Billy he could go but I was staying.
We got in a big old fight that ended in tears. My tears. I was a crier. I cried all the time. I’d cry at a card with a picture of a cute, little kitty on it and I didn’t even have to look at what the card said.
Whatever, we stayed.
This happened a lot. Billy would want to go. I’d want to stay. We’d have a rip roarin’ fight, I’d cry, and then we’d stay.
Then Billy came home late one night and said wehadto go. I could tell by the way he was acting that things I didn’t understand, things I’d closed my eyes to all those years, were bad. As in really bad.
I didn’t care. I dug in my heels. It hadn’t been the same between us since the first time I refused to go. We’d been in a slow decline and I hated it. I wanted Billy to be a good guy and do right by me and himself, but I was beginning to realize this wasn’t going to happen. It broke my heart because we’d had good times—no, great times—and I’d miss him. But there was only so much a girl could take. I hated it that everyone was right about Billy, but when you fuck up you have to admit it, deal with it and move on.
I was ready to take Uncle Tex’s advice and cut him loose.
When I told him this, Billy backed me up against a wall, his forearm against my throat, his pretty-boy face contorted and ugly with a rage I’d never seen before.
He’d hissed at me, “Where I go, you go. You belong to me. We’re never going to be apart. You’re fuckin’ mine…forever.”
Needless to say, this scared me. Billy had never acted like this. I didn’t like to be scared. I never watched horror movies, ever. I didn’tdoscared.
I knew at that point it was over. Any residual hope I had for Billy and me was gone in a blink. Firstly, I didn’t like his arm at my throat. It hurt. Secondly, I didn’t like the look on his face. It freaked me out. Lastly, I wasn’t anyone’s but my own.
In other words, fuck…that.
Somehow, we stayed in Chicago and whatever it was that had Billy in a panic calmed down.
I didn’t. I packed his shit, put it in the hall and changed the locks.
This did not go over well. He broke down the door with a sledgehammer.
This did not go over well either. I had a conniption fit.
We had another rip roarin’ fight and he talked me into taking him back.
Don’t think I was stupid or weak. I had no intention of really taking him back. I had long since realized that Billy was exactly what Billy was, and I didn’t want any part of it. I’d loved him, yes, it was true, but he wasn’t what I thought he was or what I tried to convince myself he was. I was beginning to fear the stink I sensed on him would start to transfer itself to me.
But a sledgehammer was serious business.
I was going to have to be smart, finally.
Therefore, I was building what I liked to call mySleeping with the EnemyPlan.
I started to save money in a new account Billy didn’t know about. I stashed newly purchased clothes Billy had never seen and would never miss at Annette’s place and I left.
First, I went to my folks’ house.
Billy came and brought me back.
I expected this. I was still stashing money and clothes at Annette’s, biding my time.
Then I went to a girlfriend’s in Atlanta.
Billy found me and brought me back.
