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I nod my large wolf head and look into the dark spaces of the forest with longing. I tentatively ask, “Can we run?”
My wolf lets out a yip and we start to walk. It’s a strange sensation at first—walking on four legs instead of two. I try not to think about it too much and allow my wolf’s instincts to take over. Before we get halfway to the tree line, I’m no longer wobbling.
The moment I break through the line of trees, I’m jogging and then running. The wind ruffling my fur feels better than I thought it would. It feels amazing.
I get lost in the joy of running through the forest and connecting with my wolf. I can feel her own joy as well.
We are truly free in this moment. No one can take it away from us.
“Maybe we need to leave the pack,” I whisper the truth I’ve been too afraid to voice for far too long.
My wolf growls softly in approval. I know I can’t stay here but leaving fills me with fear as well. There are a lot of unknowns beyond the pack’s borders. It might be the greatest adventure of my life, or it could get me killed.
Rogues are out there, and they are dangerous, feral creatures without the tether of the pack bond. I’ve always felt bad about the way packs treat rogues considering assumptions are made about them without investigating why a wolf is a rogue.
Was it their choice? Were they kicked out? Were they abused and went rogue to escape the pain?
The last possibility is what has always made me feel the worst. No one who seeks a better life should be treated worse than a criminal, which is exactly how packs treat rogues. I have no doubt there are bad rogues, just like there are bad pack wolves.
Who gets to decide which is which anyway?
I make my way back to the clearing and huff as I lay down next to my clothes while resting in my wolf’s body. Running through the forest was better than I imagined. Feeling the strength of my wolf gives me hope for a better future.
“We need to get a little stronger, my human,” my wolf growls softly. “Then we’ll leave and find a way to make a better life. We’ll figure it out together.”
“Together,” I murmur before I shift back into my human skin, the pain a dull ache this time.
I get dressed and start to head away from my clearing, my sanctuary. I don’t know what awaits me when I get back to the pain part of the pack lands, but I know I’ll deal with it. I’m not alone anymore. I have my wolf and she is my strength.
We’ll deal with what comes next. Together.
CHAPTER 5
SERENITY
Staring up at the packhouse, all I can feel is dread. It’s been one week since I turned 18 and found my mate. I’ve avoided everyone and everything that causes me pain as much as I can, but now I’ve been thrust right back into the thick of things. When I was awoken this morning by my father yelling at me, I knew my time was up.
I hate it.
I hate this place.
I hate my pack members who have found joy in belittling me and hurting me over the years.
This is supposed to be my home, my pack. It’s been far too long since I’ve been more than an afterthought to these people. I wish I knew what changed and why everyone turned their back on me. I have a feeling I’ll never know.
“It’s okay. It’s their loss,” my wolf tries to comfort me as she lends me some of her strength.
I know she’s right which has me straightening my shoulders and heading inside the packhouse. I’m surprised it’s as quiet as it is inside. It’s normal for people to mill around while grabbing food or hanging out with each other in some of the common rooms. I used to, but that was before.
I shake off my thoughts about before because they never do me any good. I head to the cleaning closet and grab what I need, knowing I’ll be put on cleaning duty without anyone having to tell me. I should check-in, but I simply don’t care enough to do it today. What would be the point anyway?
I head up to the offices to start there because there is no way in hell that I’m ever cleaning another room on the Alpha floor. Nope. No, thank you. I’m not going to punish myself in that way.
Since I know Dad is at home, I’m a little surprised to find Samuel sitting behind the desk in the Beta’s office. I curse myself for not paying better attention. If I had been focusing, I would have smelled my brother on the other side of the door. I’m tempted to flee, but my wolf holds me in place and straightens my spine for me.
My brother seemed reluctant to turn on me all those years ago. At first. But once the change happened, it was as if he took it on with gusto. He seemed to take pride and satisfaction in my pain in a way that only Todd rivaled.
I never understood why, and it cut deeper because he’s my big brother. He was supposed to be my protector. My family no matter what.
