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“I already have a farmer’s tan, if you’ll recall. You like to point out the exact spot where my t-shirt and shorts cover me. I believe your usual line is ‘I can’t believe how white you are.’”
Auggie made a noise that was low and filthy, and he said, “You’re right. I hope we can survive on one income.”
“We might have to downgrade. I’m not sure our homeowners’ insurance covers homicidal maniacs.”
“It covers arson, Theo. I already checked. And the house wasn’t destroyed. There’s some fire damage, and we’ll have to clean it up, maybe have some of it rebuilt. But we’re going to be fine. Our home is going to be fine. We’re going to be fine.”
Theo tightened his arms around Auggie, and Auggie grabbed him back, his hands wrapping around Theo’s arms, pulling him even closer.
After a while, Theo said, “I’m ok, I promise. I’m better now. Thank you.”
“You still haven’t given me an answer about the Mustang.”
Theo kissed the side of his head.
“Maybe we can borrow John-Henry’s,” Auggie said as he stood. “For a night.”
“For a night?”
“We’ll clean it super good.”
“Auggie.”
“He never has to know.”
Theo let Auggie help him up. He kissed him. And then he said, “I’m sorry for—for how weird I was acting yesterday.”
Auggie was quiet until it was almost too long. But then he said, “It was a weird day, Theo.”
He followed Auggie back inside, and the murmur of voices stopped them in the kitchen.
“—because, dumbass,” North was saying, “Auggie looks like a squealer. We would have heard them.”
“You’re drawing conclusions way too early,” Shaw said. “In the first place, he might have gagged Auggie. In the second place, maybe Theo’s the squealer.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. Either way, we would have heard something.” In a grudging voice, he added, “Unless they’re still waiting for Old Man River’s Viagra to kick in.”
Shaw’s head appeared suddenly above the sofa, and even in the dark, Theo could tell he was looking at them. “Are you still waiting for your Viagra to kick in?”
“Mother of fuck,” North said, and he sat up too, another silhouette in the darkness. “How long have you two been creeping on us?”
“I think it’s a little creepier,” Theo said, “to be lying in the dark discussing our sex life.”
“Also, not that it’s anybody’s business,” Auggie said, “but Theo doesn’t need Viagra.”
“Ok, Auggie.”
“Like, he really doesn’t need it.”
Theo gave him a look that Auggie pretended not to see in the darkness.
“Like sometimes I wonder which one of us is twenty-five and which one of us is thirty-five, just based on—”
“Ok,” Theo said. “That’s enough right there.”
North made a disgusted noise.
Shaw said, “That’s so sweet.”
