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“Are you guys awake?” That voice was Jem’s and as best Auggie could tell, it came from the top of the stairs. “Thank God. Tean, they’re awake.” He moved down the steps. “I was going crazy up there. Tean said I had to stay upstairs, and it only took me ten minutes to memorize all of Shaw’s credit card numbers. Oh, Shaw, by the way—I found your wallet.”
Something tumbled through the darkness, and Shaw caught it. In a voice of wonder, he said, “North, he found my wallet! I didn’t even know I’d lost it.”
Lights sprang on, and North, shielding his eyes, said, “That’s because he stole it, because he’s a fucking shitheel. For fuck’s sake, could you warn somebody? My fucking eyes.”
Tean appeared a moment later. The vet wore a pajama set—shorts and a matching short-sleeved top—printed with tropical plants and monkeys, and nobody had to tell Auggie that Jem had picked it out for him. Jem looked comfortable in a pair of mesh shorts and a white tee, which was almost identical to North’s sleepwear. Shaw, of course, wore a sleep mask pushed up on his forehead, a cropped mesh tank, and crocheted rainbow booty shorts. The fact that they were crocheted meant that every time Shaw moved, he was sixty percent naked. What was really remarkable, though, was that Auggie could have sworn he hadn’t seen the man with any luggage.
“We couldn’t sleep,” Tean said.
“He’s saying that to be polite,” Jem said. “I couldn’t sleep. Whatever they gave me is wearing off, and that cut itches like a bastard.”
“Watch your fucking language in front of the kid,” North said, nodding at Auggie.
“You need to—” Theo began.
But Auggie made a shushing noise and shook his head.
“Are you going to creep over there all night, Shortstack?” North asked. “Is Daddy about to put you to bed?”
Taking Theo’s hand, Auggie tugged him toward the living room.
Jem had moved the coffee table against the wall, and he sat there now, playing with a deck of cards, sending them flying one from hand to the other, and then sending them back again, the movements so practiced that he didn’t even seem to be paying attention. Tean sat on the floor next to him, arms around his knees. North had taken the armchair, and he smiled at Theo and shot him the bird. Shaw was sprawled out on the sofa, but he sat up and moved over, making room for them. Theo and Auggie sat, and then, with a smirk for North, Auggie shifted over to Theo’s lap.
North groaned. “You’re killing me, half-pint.”
Auggie brought one of Theo’s arms around him, gave North a smile like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth, and rolled one shoulder in a shrug.
“Because, John, I think knowing whether these troglodytes are robbing us blind is preferable to ignorance, although I’m sure—” Emery stopped at the top of the stairs. He wore pajama pants and a Death Cab for Cutie t-shirt that looked like it might pop off him if he breathed too hard.
“No,” North said. “Whatever it is, fuck off.”
“What are you doing?” Emery asked. “Why are you all awake?”
“We’re planning an epic heist,” Jem said. “It’s going to take all six of us, but we’ve got an elaborate plan to break into your house and steal every one of these priceless DVD documentaries.”
Tean swatted his leg.
“You’re already in my house,” Emery said.
“Phase one accomplished.”
“In the first place, those DVDs are far from priceless, with the exception ofWhiskers and Whispers: Kompromat, Perestroika, and a Soviet History of Cats, which is surprisingly rare—”
“Very surprisingly,” Shaw said.
Emery threw him a dirty look and opened his mouth again, but a hand rested on the back of his neck, and a moment later, John-Henry appeared. He wore a tank top, sweatshorts, and white tube socks, and Auggie was surprised again, the way he always was, by the dark lines of ink that covered John-Henry’s chest and arms.
“Everything ok?”
“We’re planning a heist!” Shaw announced.
For whatever reason, that made John-Henry grin, and he started down the stairs. “I couldn’t sleep either.”
“Great,” Emery said, but after a moment, he followed. “Maybe I’ll call around, see if the clown college can send over a few more people, really round out my night.”
“They can’t,” Shaw said promptly. “I already asked.”
“They’ve got their clown college finals tomorrow,” Jem said.
