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So much could have been different…if onlyI hadn’t been a coward.
It was never that I thought Craig was better than me. That his money made him more deserving. River is precious. She should have the best.
I was never sure that was me, and I’m still not.
I’m a good guy, but the best? Saying that would make me sound like Craig.
That’s why I’ve stayed on the sidelines all these years—to give River time to decide if she wants to choose me.
So many times, I was certain she was going to. Especially throughout these past few years. But each time she seemed ready, a wall would slam in place between us. It’s time for that wall to come down.
Not crashing down, but brick by brick.
Thoughts of us building new walls occupy my mind the remainder of my route and well after I get home to shower. With every passing minute, courage grows. Before I walk out the door for her house, I snag up the Begonia Maculata I bought from her store the day she and Craig separated.
The plant made me think of her with its polka-dotted leaves.
Pot in one hand, I ring her bell with the other. A soft, “One second,” comes through the door a minute before it opens.
I can barely breathe. Her red hair sticks out everywhere from the bun it’s in no way contained in. Soil streaks her cheek. Her amber eyes question why I’m here, but her lips tilt into a smile despite my unexpected intrusion.
“Ash?”
“Happy divorce day.”
I push the plant between us, and she looks from it to me.
“But you bought this for you, and how did you know?”
My head shakes from side to side. “Dottie was always for you. A gift to celebrate your freedom.”
“Dottie.” She lifts her polka-dot-gloved hand to her face and giggles. Just like she has since we were young. “Because of the leaves? Oh, Ash. You’re too much.”
Disheveled hair and dirt on her face, River has never been more beautiful. This is her. Perfectly content with who she is. It’s why she’s always been the one.
Make sure she knows.
Mrs. Fields is right. I’ve made excuses for too long. I was worried I would complicate River’s life. It’s always going to be complicated. We can’t avoid that—Idon’t wantto avoid it.
“Too much for you?”
Her eyes go wide as we stand in silence. She peers from the plant to me. “Ash?”
Before she can question what I mean, I make it clear. “I don’t want to be too much. I want to be just right for you.”
TWO
RIVER
Ash, the man I’ve been dreaming about for years, is standing in front of me, a beautiful Begonia Maculata in his hands, asking me if he’s just right.
Is he kidding?
He’s perfect.
He always has been.
If only I had told him in middle school I had a crush on him, maybe we would have dated then. If only I had said no to Craig when he asked me to prom, maybe I would have gone with Ash. If only I hadn’t married Craig, maybe we’d be together now.
