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Will the little habibti pass the test?
The night of October 31 is approaching, the Night of the Last Fire.
It's important because it's Becca's birthday, and I have a gift planned for her.
Until then, during the random nights of October, we will have enough time to play around. On the Night of the Last Fire, I will be the one marking Saza. Uriel and Rhea will assist me, and the fact that I'll only hunt against Samael makes me even more enthusiastic.
Nearly 48 hours have passed since they told me I could ditch the shoulder brace, but I thought I'd take the opportunity and have a little more fun with the preacher's daughter.
I will burn in hell for this, but for as long as I’m alive, I will create my own heaven on earth.
Today, Becca helped me change clothes after I sneakily got her into the boys' locker room and persuaded her to follow me into the gym, where we practiced a few self-defense techniques.
Bad idea. Too much physical contact that sparked a fire inside of me ever since.
The idea of touching her doesn't comfort me, especially when I'm aware that my touch leaves her indifferent. It doesn’t soothe me, instead, it stirs up something inside me, something dark and full of malice and desire Becca's innocence just rubs more salt to the wound, and at times, I get the impression that she's asking for it too. But I realize it's just in my mind because Becca is hopelessly in love with my brother, so the touches between are one-sided, and unfortunately, I'm on the wrong side, the one that feels every contact between our skin down to the bone.
When I'm around Becca, I feel an uncontrollable urge to pervert her in the most horrible ways imaginable.
It's not just my eagerness to enjoy the preacher’s daughter, the pure and innocent Becca who would sit between my legs, her slender fingers wrapping around my cock, her pink lips covering it, and her soft, hot tongue sticking to my swollen head. It's not just the thought that I'm going to enjoy her virginal image, the way that her sweet girl manicure matches my bare cock, all while I enter her mouth and grab her long blonde hair that smells so good every time and makes me want to pull it, and shove it so deep down her throat that she can't breathe. It's not even the thought that I want to make her cry with pleasure, to see her saliva run down the corners of her mouth, barely big enough for my long, thick dick.
No.
It's not just this degrading image that drives me insane, that makes me tense up completely, feeling the painful throb of my penis, leaving me with a fierce need for her.
It's more than that.
It's a hidden desire deep within me that stirs me up every time I see her.
It's my uncontrollable pride, the selfish thought that once I have her, I'll be above my brother, because I had the girl he wanted, and he couldn't do anything about it, losing her before he even had a chance.
It's not even this dirty fantasy that would lead her into sin in the most cruel ways, nor the idea of being her temptation, turning into the serpent that makes her eat the forbidden fruit.
No.
It's not all that straightforward.
There's something dark lurking within me.
All of these thoughts have gathered inside me, a cluster of bad things, each one a drop of poison, ready to leave victims behind.
And amidst all these fleeting thoughts of loose morals, the most terrifying one is doing all of these dirty things and not being healed.
What would I do if Becca won’t leave my head, even after I'm done with her?
Now, I have all sorts of conflicting ideas.
Rebecca Godwill terrifies me.
I see her as both a necessity, a gateway to healing my body and mind, and also as a punishment, because Becca might be more than just a temporary face.
I'd heal from others, just to fall ill for her, I think as I slip my hand into my pants only to feel I’m so hard right now.
CHAPTER 23
FIVE YEARS AGO
MANASSEH
